Dear Audrey —

Your desire to do the right thing is admirable. The first thing you should do is ask God to forgive you, on your own. You can say an Act of Contrition or just talk to God about what happened and ask for His help not do it again.

Secondly, don't get discouraged. When we sin, if we allow Him to, God can even use that as a way of making us holier, because every time we mess up, it reminds us of how much we need Jesus. We can't do it without Him. No matter how hard we try; we can't keep ourselves from sinning without His Grace. So let's start by getting things right with God. This doesn't mean you don't have to go to Confession but it's the most important thing you need to do right now.

You never know what door God might open up for you in terms of being able to get to Confession. I'd bet that if you ask Him to find a way for you to go, He may just find a way. Seeing tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, perhaps you could ask to be brought to Church tomorrow to get ashes. Then you can just ask a priest to hear your Confession.

There is one last point I want to address. For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must be present:

1. It must be grave matter.
   
2. The person must have sufficient time to think about what they are doing.
   
   
   So if you stub you big toe and you shout out the Lord's name in vain, it might be grave matter, but you didn't have time to think about it.
   
   
3. finally, it must be committed with full consent of the will. To give full consent of the will you had to be fully awake and not influenced by force of:
   • habit
   • addiction, and
   • other mitigating factors.

I'm not saying that committing a mortal sin is not common, because it is, but it sounds like your desire is to serve God. If that's the case, if you're struggling with a sin that's a habit, then you're probably not committing this sin, giving full consent of the will. It's still sin. It's objectively grave matter but it might not a mortal sin in your case.

This is something you need to discuss with your priest. It doesn't change things. You still need to confess the sin, but in case like this, you could say an Act of Contrition, receive Communion and get to Confession as soon as possible.

John

Audrey —

If you have told God you are sorry, and you are, and you intend to confess when you can, then you are forgiven! Be at peace! Thank God for helping you.

You are right that you cannot receive Communion until you have confessed, but you can always get to Mass a bit early and ask Father to hear your Confession. If you cannot do that, don't be ashamed not to go to Communion. More people should show that respect to the Lord. No one will judge you, and it's nobody's business why you aren't receiving Communion anyway.

You can always ask your mom or dad to take you to see Father for a Confession appointment, or you can ask either one to take you early to Mass for Confession.

Father may or may not have time to be able to hear your Confession right before Mass but do not commit a sin of sacrilege by receiving Communion when you have not been reconciled with the Body of Christ in Confession.

God bless you.

Mary Ann

Dear Audrey —

God certainly understands when we can't get to Confession. However, receiving Communion while in a state of grave sin is another sin of sacrilege, because we haven't yet been reconciled to the Body of Christ in the sacrament.

So, yes, God wants you to confess all your sins however, He does not want us to commit sins with the thought that we will make it right later in Confession. That attitude could mean that we are not sincere in our contrition; and sins confessed without contrition, are not forgiven.

God bless.

Mary Ann

Audrey —

God will always forgive us so long as we are sincere in our repentance. However, it's not a good idea to receive Communion when you know you are in a state of mortal sin. There is no rule that says we have to receive Communion every Sunday or every time we go to Mass. So if we are conscious of mortal sin, we should not receive the Eucharist.

That said, you should discuss this with a priest or spiritual director. If the sin is a habitual sin, then the force of habit may mitigate your culpability.

We are not priests so we can't really advise you. All we do is tell you that, as a rule, you should not receive Communion if you are in a state of mortal sin.

As regards to God forgiving us, the only time God can't or won't forgive us, is if we don't repent and ask for forgiveness.

John

Audrey —

I certainly understand your embarrassment, but that's not really an excuse. You don't need to tell your mother what the sin is, nor do you have to tell her you are in mortal sin.

All you need to do is say you're not properly disposed to go to Communion today. You don't owe her any further explanation. She should respect that. If she presses you, tell her it's between you and God and she should be happy that you know and respect your faith enough to want to respect God and His instructions.

John

Dear Audrey,

I totally agree with both Mary Ann's answers to your questions. On the second question, in addition to what my colleague, John has said, I would suggest you say to your mother:

Mom, I'm not properly disposed to receive Holy Communion today, so I'm saying a Spiritual Communion in the pew. I plan on getting to Confession over the next few days.

This is how you say a Spiritual Communion, or how I was taught:

A nice way to finish this would be to say a few Our Father's, Hail Mary's and Glory Be's.

Important: A Spiritual Communion was never intended to replace receiving the Blessed Sacrament on a weekly basis. A strong effort should be put forward to find a compassionate (Confessor|priest) who can hear your Confession on any Saturday or Sunday, when you are not properly disposed to receive the Blessed Sacrament.

We can't forget the shock and awe of what we have been blessed with as Catholics. Through the Blessed Eucharist we receive each Sunday:

• we partake in Divine Nature, and
• are con-substantial (of one substance) with the Lord.

In our sex-saturated, materialistic culture, it is something we need.

Mike

Audrey,

Everything my colleagues said is good advice, but if:

• embarrassment with your mother is your urgent problem
• you don't want to commit an objective sacrilege, and
• you don't feel ready to stand up to her in a straightforward way about this

then here are two practical suggestions to get you by as a possible "quick fix":

1. Sit to the side of your mother from which you would end up being in back of her in the Communion line. Then cross your arms and bow your head for a blessing from the priest rather instead of receiving Communion. The priest will simply bless you on the head and mother won't see it.
   
   
2. Mistakenly eat a little something right before going to Mass so that the excuse to your mom for not receiving, could be that you couldn't break the one hour-fast rule before receiving Holy Communion. This would not be a lie.
   
   By the way, if you weren't aware, Church law states that we should not receive Communion if we have eaten anything within an hour before receiving Holy Communion, with the exception of water and medicine. Your mother is probably aware of this rule.
   

You would then need to figure out creative ways of getting to Confession regularly if family members or friends won't take you.

Maybe the parish has a service that transports the elderly to (Mass and/or Confession).

Those too young to have their license should fit into this too.

Peace,

Paul
(Four days later from Anonymous Audrey)