Andrew,

You point out a lot of difficulties that many people have, and sometimes the Church as a whole has. The truth is, a God does not want us to be alone, so we do have to work at forming community.

• For some that is a real challenge, and for others,
• who are comfortable in community, they have as great a challenge at being outgoing to newcomers or strangers.

Often it isn't malice or prejudice, but lack of awareness or skill.

When I went through my adult conversion, God invited me (through a priest) to be the music leader for a prayer group. Looking at that experience in hindsight, that was God's Way of:

• bringing me in
• making me stay in, and
• challenging me to overcome any prejudices, pride and fears that I had.

It worked. I hung in there, and today I love my Church, make a living making music, and have grown much more comfortable around all kinds of people.

So, since you are not Catholic, why not join RCIA . That way:

• you can get more connected with others in the same boat
• find a way to make at least a temporary commitment, and
• make some friends.

From there who knows.

I bet God would have great things for you.

Peace,

Bob Kirby