I will say that God has manifested himself directly in my life and the lives of those I know enough times that he may as well spelled out God exists in the stars of the sky. One incident just happened the other day. God for me is as real as the existence of atheists.
May I suggest the Agnostic's Prayer for you and similar visitors to our site:
'God, if there is a God, save my soul, if I have a soul.'
I'd pray this every day.
I'd also suggest contemplating Pascal's Wager:
A rational person who lives as though God exists, if he is wrong, at the end of his life, will suffer only a finite loss (some pleasures, luxuries, etc.) and will not even exist and so will not care but, one who lives as an atheist, if he is wrong, at the end of his life, will suffer severe everlasting consequences.
In other words, a rational person should live as a theist and be wrong, than live as an atheist and be wrong.