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I am Catholic and I have a boyfriend who is not Catholic, but a Christian.
My mom wants me to convert him to become a Catholic however I feel like I am forcing him to become Catholic when he is not ready.
I wouldn't want someone forcing a religion down on me so why should I force a religion down on someone else just so it can please me?
What should I do?
I'm hoping some day he will become a Catholic if God wants him to but not by forcing it on him.
Ale Rivera
{
Although my mom wants me to convert my boyfriend, why should I force him when he's not ready? }
Mike replied:
Dear Ale,
You are absolutely right!
You cannot force anyone to join a faith:
they don't know, nor
have no interest in joining.
This excludes infant Baptism because there, the parents, who only want what is spiritually best for their (son|daughter), stand in the place of their children and speak for them until they get to a maturity where they can speak for themselves, at Confirmation.
Unless it was a free will choice by the catechumen, the Baptism would be invalid. No matter how well-intentioned your mother is, she is wrong.
That said, what you can do, if your boyfriend is interested, is:
invite him to Mass on Sunday or
invite him, after explaining the Eucharist, to an Adoration Chapel
ask him to pray the Rosary with you; it's a Scriptural prayer
read the Gospels together
Show him the Biblical support for the Catholic faith here:
One overlooked but extremely important issue of a dating relationship is the importance of faith in any future marriage.
Couples with mixed marriage often have more difficultly, especially if the marriage is between a Catholic and non-Christian, than if the couple shares the same faith.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church talks about this here:
1633 In many countries the situation
of a mixed marriage, (marriage
between a Catholic and a baptized
non-Catholic), often arises. It
requires particular attention
on the part of couples and their
pastors. A case of marriage with
disparity of cult (between a Catholic
and a non-baptized person) requires
even greater circumspection.
1634 Difference of confession
between the spouses does not constitute
an insurmountable obstacle for
marriage, when they succeed in
placing in common what they have
received from their respective
communities, and learn from each
other the way in which each lives
in fidelity to Christ. But the
difficulties of mixed marriages
must not be underestimated. They
arise from the fact that the separation
of Christians has not yet been
overcome. The spouses risk experiencing
the tragedy of Christian disunity
even in the heart of their own
home. Disparity of cult can further
aggravate these difficulties.
Differences about faith and the
very notion of marriage, but also
different religious mentalities,
can become sources of tension
in marriage, especially as regards
the education of children. The
temptation to religious indifference
can then arise.
1635 According to the law in force
in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage
needs for liceity the express
permission of ecclesiastical authority. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1124) In case of disparity of cult an
express dispensation from this
impediment is required for the
validity of the marriage. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1086) This
permission or dispensation presupposes
that both parties know and do
not exclude the essential ends
and properties of marriage; and
furthermore that the Catholic
party confirms the obligations,
which have been made known to
the non-Catholic party,
of preserving his or her own faith
and ensuring the baptism and education
of the children in the Catholic
Church. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1125)
1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.
1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task:
"For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."
It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:16) Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
I know your mother wants what is best for your boyfriend but we have to let the three of you work on the issue from start to finish and by the three of you, I mean:
you
your boyfriend, and
the Holy Spirit
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . not your mother
I hope this helps,
Mike
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