Hi, Michele —

I empathize for your situation. One of the most difficult things a family member has to endure is the free will of another family member to do something that is not in the best spiritual interest of their soul, their faith, or their family's faith.

A big problem we have in the Church today is a lack of proper catecheses and a lack of a prayer life to support it.  Without a daily prayer life, today's media culture will take Catholics away from the Church quickly.

Without sounding mean-spirited or judgmental, the problem can also be rooted in the lack of interest from the parents in raising their children with proper instruction in the faith. Maybe if your sister and her husband put more importance in practicing the faith and having a solid knowledge of the Catholic faith, their son wouldn't have ever considered not baptized their child. Having certain attitudes can indicate this problem, like:

• Oh, I don't need Church on Sundays; I have my own personal relationship with God and can talk to Him anytime, without going to Church.

This view by itself shows a lack of understanding about:

• What Sunday Mass is, and
• The benefits of going to Sunday Mass and receiving the sacraments regularly.

Your sister has to respect and accept the decisions her son makes on behalf of his children. He and his wife are responsible for the spiritual needs and salvation of their children.

No one else can do this.

• What does your [sister's son's wife] think about this issue?

In tough family situations similar to these, it's good to get into the habit of thinking about everyone who could be involved in the family and friends scope of things.

Sometimes a relative, distant cousin, distant friend, or acquaintance may be able to befriend,
in a charitable manner, your sister's son and persuade him through a mild, friendly Christian witness to at least re-think the issue.

To your question:

• Is there anything she can do to help her grandson's little soul?

Yes.

• Pray on a regular basis and in a persevering manner for this specific issue to be resolved, and . . .
• If she has a semi-good relationship with her son and she can talk about faith issues in a mature, charitable, constructive manner, without her being dictatorial, I would encourage it. (I would at least gently remind him of what Our Lord Himself said about the necessity of Baptism for salvation. John 3:5) This is a basic Christian belief.

If they can't or your sister is perceived as the ultra religious one in the family,
she has to walk a prayerful line between:

• Just being a silent witness [I know this can be hard] and a good mother with an open ear ready to help, and
• offering suggestions, only when asked for.
  
  (Don't answer unasked questions.)

What I've found out at my family get-togethers is sometimes a religious subject will be brought up for no reason at all.  I usually remain quiet until someone asks for my opinion. (Maybe they expect me to jump out right away and say something.)

In these situations, you can get caught in a Catch 22 in the sense that:

if you don't say something:

you can be perceived as not being interested in the topic but

if you do say something,

you can be perceived as intruding into a subject or topic where you were never asked for your opinion on.

Because my family perceives me as an overly religious person; something my nephews, in their teens, have no interest in, I strive to remain quiet.

If I jump in and respond to something, if not done sensitively, it can lead to bitter tensions between family members and the last thing you want is bad relationships with family members.
I know biting your tongue and being silent can be hard at times, but at times, it's the best way to go.

This reminds me of what Steve Wood from Dads.org | Faith and Family once said:

You can't transmit religious value until first build good relationships with your family members.

Before I ever visit my brother's house I say the following prayer:

Below are some lengthy postings that address some of the issues involved in your situation.

They may provide information you hadn't thought of so, if and when you are asked about something, you will be better informed.

Hope this helps,

Mike

• Since my wife is against the Catholic faith and infant baptism, can I baptize our child privately?
• Could my mother to get my son baptized Catholic without my (the mother's) participation?
• Would the Church mind if, in raising my children, I let them decide which faith to believe?