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magisterium
Let me first begin by thanking you for this
site as it's full of very good information.
Even though
I am not Catholic, nor Christian, I find your
postings and other web pages to be extremely
helpful and a great guidance.
I would like to share my current situation
and, if possible, ask for your advice or insight.
I have been dating a devoted, practicing Catholic
for about five months now. I am in my late
twenties and he is in his early-mid twenties;
he's five years younger to be exact. We get
along very well, share similar views in regards
to:
family values
the importance of God, and
religion in our lives.
I am a practicing Muslim woman who converted
to Islam about six years ago, however my entire
family is Protestant Christian. Ironically,
even though I was raised as a Protestant Christian,
my mother had me baptized in the Catholic
Church and even had me receive my First Communion
in line with her wishes. I am starting to
become very concerned about the situation
I am in.
My boyfriend and I regularly practice our
faith but we also have tremendous respect
for each other's faiths. I attend Mass with
him as a form of support and because I am
also interested in learning more about the
Catholic Faith. I have been honest with my
boyfriend and told him that
I hope he doesn't have any expectations that
I will convert to Catholicism, because I want
to be as transparent as possible with him.
We both believe in the importance of chastity
and waiting for Marriage to do certain forms
of physical activities.
My family likes him very much as he is a good
man and Christian. This makes it easier for
them to connect with and share special holidays
such as Christmas and Easter. As a side project, I have begun
to study the Bible primarily
because I don't know anything about the Bible
or the Christian faith but, to be honest,
I don't know where this will lead to. I'm
scared because the (religion|faith) I have
been practicing for the past six years has
become part of who I am, my surrounding, and
even the events I attend. We are very compatible
and I don't think I have clicked as well with
any other man as I have with him.
I even ask him jokingly if he is Muslim because
his values are very similar to those of a
devoted Muslim man, except, of course, for
the faith.
I have met other Muslim men but I have encountered
some cultural problems. There have been others
that, although they are born Muslim, are not
as devoted to the faith and God.
My boyfriend:
attends Mass
is very involved with his local Church,
and
is very knowledgeable when it comes to
the Scriptures.
He has the qualities I desire in a future
husband, father for my children and a best
friend. I feel that he has even helped me
better my relationship with God and I can
see us growing further if we were ever to
get married. Nonetheless, we have discussed
marriage and he stated that he doesn't expect
me to convert, however he wants to raise the
children Catholic. I understand his reasons
but it hurts me because it appears he doesn't
take me into consideration. My main
concern is that any children we have in the
future may be confused by our different faiths
and get the impression we have different family
values and morals; I think it is the responsibility
of parents to raise children according to
good family values and morals.
I am praying for guidance and continue to
ask God to guide me in the right path, which
ever one it is and whatever is best for us.
Maybe my emotions have overtaken my thoughts,
but deep inside, I genuinely feel I was meant
to meet my boyfriend. I feel that God has
brought us together for whatever reason.
I do wonder, given
my situation, if there was a providential reason
I was baptized in the Catholic Church and
was also made to receive my First Communion. There are a couple of questions
going through my mind:
I would like to know what the Catholic
Church's perspective is on inter-faith
marriages?
What options do I have, if any, as a non-Catholic
woman?
I would like to learn about the Catholic
Church:
Where would be a good place to
start?
What are some good sources for:
learning about Jesus Christ, His (Life|Teachings), and
understanding the Trinity?
Thank you for your help.
Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
In peace,
Melissa
{
What is the Church's view of interfaith
marriages and what are some good faith-learning resources? }
Mike
replied:
Hi, Melissa —
You said: I understand
his reasons but it hurts me because
it appears he doesn't take me into
consideration.
Our team's answer here will help
you understand the issue(s) involved:
As a Catholic who believes and acts
on what he believes, he would have
to raise the children of your marriage
Catholic.
You are fortunate! There are
very few men, in my opinion, who take the faith seriously like
this. You wouldn't have to convert
unless you wanted to; but you couldn't
interfere with his raising the children
of your marriage as Catholics.
You said: My main
concern is that any children we have in the
future may be confused by our different faiths
and get the impression we have different family
values and morals; I think it is the responsibility
of parents to raise children according to
good family values and morals.
Good point! Although both of you
may have similar family values and
morals, down the line, issues will
arise where there will be differences
in specific family values and morals.
Most of the time these issues will
be connected to, what you referred to as certain forms
of physical activities either as it relates to both
of you, as a couple, or to your children
when they grow up.
You said:
I would like to know what the Catholic
Church's perspective is on inter-faith
marriages?
This is what the
Catechism teaches on the issue of
mixed marriages:
1633 In many countries the situation
of a mixed marriage, (marriage
between a Catholic and a baptized
non-Catholic), often arises. It
requires particular attention
on the part of couples and their
pastors. A case of marriage with
disparity of cult (between a Catholic
and a non-baptized person) requires
even greater circumspection.
1634 Difference of confession
between the spouses does not constitute
an insurmountable obstacle for
marriage, when they succeed in
placing in common what they have
received from their respective
communities, and learn from each
other the way in which each lives
in fidelity to Christ. But the
difficulties of mixed marriages
must not be underestimated. They
arise from the fact that the separation
of Christians has not yet been
overcome. The spouses risk experiencing
the tragedy of Christian disunity
even in the heart of their own
home. Disparity of cult can further
aggravate these difficulties.
Differences about faith and the
very notion of marriage, but also
different religious mentalities,
can become sources of tension
in marriage, especially as regards
the education of children. The
temptation to religious indifference
can then arise.
1635 According to the law in force
in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage
needs for liceity the express
permission of ecclesiastical authority. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1124) In case of disparity of cult an
express dispensation from this
impediment is required for the
validity of the marriage. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1086) This
permission or dispensation presupposes
that both parties know and do
not exclude the essential ends
and properties of marriage; and
furthermore that the Catholic
party confirms the obligations,
which have been made known to
the non-Catholic party,
of preserving his or her own faith
and ensuring the baptism and education
of the children in the Catholic
Church. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1125)
1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.
1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task:
"For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."
It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:16) Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.
I would also be concerned about the
Muslim view of free will and freedom especially among women.
It's important that any future
daughters you have understand
their God-given right to think
and act, freely but responsibly.
I hope the practice of your faith
allows for this.
Although you
are a practicing Muslim, because
you were baptized a Catholic,
any possible future marriage would
be considered a mixed marriage
and not a disparity of cult. (See Catechism quote from above.)
You said: What are some
good sources for:
learning about
Jesus Christ, his (Life|Teachings)
and
understanding the
Trinity?
As far as learning about Jesus and
His Church, the best way is to read
the Catechism of the Catholic Church. I would encourage you to consider buying a cheap copy to learn everything we believe as Catholics.
Besides our site, which has about 5,952 postings that you can search on here, Catholic Answers also has
some very good information. You can
find their website here:
