Dear Seeking,

To answer your last question first, no, there is no Church law that suggests shunning people.

The virtue of prudence, formed in charity, must be practiced, when being God's instrument, in bringing people to Christ and His Church.

It seems like your soul is yearning for what you know deep down that Christ through His Church offers us.

Congratulations on recognizing this, despite your traumatic experience as a child. God is blessing you by your cooperation with His grace. I suggest you make an appointment with a good local priest who can tell you what steps you need to take. That would depend on what sacraments you've already received, among other factors. He may suggest RCIA, or a good Catholic counselor, or both.

Regardless, pray for light and perseverance in His grace.

May God bless your new journey,

Paul

Dear Seeking,

One thing I love about converts is their zeal for the faith and your son seems to have that seal which I admire but sometimes their love for the Church is so strong they don't respect other's choice to believe something different.

We all come to the faith and build upon it in different ways.  Their background, their upbringing and how much they were taught when they were young, may differ from ours, but we have to be a good witness by our charity and good will, despite our different personal beliefs.

I would agree with Paul that you have to be prudent but too many times we address a faith dialogue solely from our viewpoint (which we should) but with no interest in seeing where the other person is coming from. If done in an uncharitable manner, this can lead to judgmental statements that can do more harm than good. If our actions and behavior are not Christ-like and do not imitate Jesus' behavior, our words will be worthless. I would ask your oldest son:

• Did Jesus eat with those who were not his own?
• Did Jesus eat with tax collectors?
• Did Jesus shun those who did not know Him or eat and drink with them?

Your oldest son has to mirror Jesus in order to welcome strangers into the fullness of the Christian Faith, the Catholic faith. If he can't manifest a Christian behavior (and/or) actions, his words will be useless.

For example, if an un-catechized Catholic or non-Catholic Christian says, they see no reason why they should confess their sins to a man. You have to charitably clarify to them what a priest is and what Holy Orders are, and let the Holy Spirit take it from there. If one needs help answering a question about the faith, let us help you. We are obliged to share and correct teachings, but the receiver has to choose to receive and ponder our reply.

State what has to be said, once in charity, then the choice is theirs. (1 Peter 3:15-16) A choice you can't make for them. We are not responsible for the choice others make at our Particular Judgment. We are only responsible for the choice and actions we have made.

For example, my next-door neighbor has told me he is a Catholic, but he never goes to Sunday Mass or church at all. (Honestly, I don't know whether he is aware that Sunday Mass attendance is an obligation; something I should probably hint at in passive conversation.) We still have a peaceful, loving relationship but to ensure I've done my part in helping him spiritually, I've said,

Andrew, I go to the 4:00pm Sunday Vigil mass on Saturday. If you ever want to come along with me, just give me a heads up a few days ahead of time.

Whenever I go down to my brothers, I always say,

In doing so, I get helped by the Holy Spirit, to be a good witness when I should be; and bite my tongue when I hear something that is not Catholic but am not in the proper surrounding where I can charitably share the Catholic view.

Hope this helps,

Mike