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I am a smart. 17-year-old guy who loves riding
motorcycles. I am Catholic and a male model.
I've been dating my girlfriend, Anna Anonymous
for four years. She is a model too, and we
have been sexually active. I have always dreamt
of being a male porn star; I like the lifestyle
and enjoy watching adult films. My girlfriend
Anna knows about this and wants to be a porn
star too because modeling is satisfying.
How can we get our choice to be accepted
by our faith?
We want to do this for a living, without people
seeing us as bad people. We would also like
to start a family as well. When we have children,
we will support whatever their career decision
is, including if they want to be adult film
stars like us.
What is wrong with porn?
Adam
{
How can we get the Church to accept our decision to be porn stars and what's wrong with porn? }
Paul replied:
Dear, Adam —
For the sake of providing a response,
I will assume this is not a joke.
From the little you wrote, it is
pretty evident that your mind has
been somewhat hijacked by the sin
of the modern world regarding the
sixth commandment. It is God's will,
as the Church authoritatively teaches,
that sexual activity must be saved
and reserved exclusively for marriage.
Marriage, which is the life-long
vow of commitment before God and
the community making two persons
one flesh, is the only moral place
for sexual expression; all other
alternatives fall into the realm
of mortal sin. Mortal sin cuts off
one's relationship with God and merits
the fires of Hell.
It is sincere repentance, with the
sacrament of Confession, that restores
the union of friendship with God.
For minds that have been co-opted
by the modern secular world, and
of course the number of people who
have been co-opted is countless,
this seems difficult to accept; for
modern culture has been built upon
lust and materialism. Nevertheless,
the grace received from the sacraments
of Penance, the Eucharist, and from
a regular routine of Mass attendance,
can restore one's life to one that
is pleasing to God. The sacrament
of Confession is always there for
God's forgiveness whenever we fall
from our resolution to sin no more.
God is not only Justice, but Mercy
too.
Therefore fornication (pre-marital
sex) as well as pornography, watching
it or participating in it, are matters
of mortal sin that one must resolve
to try and eliminate from one's life.
There is no place for lust, nor any
of the other seven deadly sins, in
a friendship with God.
Pornography has become a significant
part of the culture since the internet
revolution. Fornication (pre-marital
sex) became part of the cultural
norm, a couple of decades before
that, from the sexual revolution,
stemming from the invention of the
pill. Both these revolutions
are sinful, destructive, and demonic
in their attempt to destroy souls,
families, lives, and society.
This may seem radical to you, and
that is understandable in the context
of the radicalized world that you
have been brought up in, that has
objectively rejected God, by rejecting
His Sixth
Commandment. Remember though
that Jesus told us that He has overcome
the world and has given us the grace
to do the same. This is our challenge
as Christians that love God.
Which do we choose, God or self?
That is what salvation is all about,
and why the Church exists.
One last thought. You asked.
How
do we get our choice accepted by
our faith.
To be clear, our
aim is to be accepted by God, and
although He will always love us,
we do not love Him by rejecting His
truth. Our goal cannot be the acceptance
of our friends or the greater society
around us. Whenever you are on God's
side you are in the majority.
Thanks for the question and, if you desire, feel
free to write back.
Peace,
Paul
Eric replied:
Adam —
Porn is wrong because it promotes
the objectivization of
human beings.
What is this?
It's the process of treating a human
being like an object — someone
you use, not a person you seek for
their own sake.
A man who looks at porn isn't seeking
to get to know the woman
as a person. He's not seeking to
love her as a human being. He doesn't
care about who she is, and he certainly
isn't offering his life for her as
the Scripture says a husband should
do for his wife in Ephesians, chapter
5.
He's doing what?
Satisfying his own desires. He's
being selfish, in other words — using
her to gratify his own flesh.
This is not love — in
the true, self-giving sense. It may
be eroticism, it may be lust, but
it isn't love.
The union of a husband and wife is
holy — this is why Christ made
marriage a sacrament. It's the way
in which a couple totally and unreservedly
give themselves to each other, so
much so that their love may become
another life. There is no room for
selfishness in this act. It's not
an act where, again, the end goal
is to satisfy your lusts — the
goal is to love your wife and seek
her as a person:
as she unselfishly gives you
pleasure, and
you unselfishly give her pleasure,
and
both of you experience pleasure,
as a happy side-effect of seeking
one another.
Thus human sexuality reaches its
true purpose and fulfillment, and
so does the joy of the experience.
It is not, to be crass, mutual masturbation,
where in using each other, each seeks
(his or her) own pleasure.
If you have sex with your girlfriend
because it makes you feel good, then
you're totally on the wrong track.
Tell me, how can this be true
love?
Lust, yes; but not love.
Pray on this —
Pray to be able to truly love
your girlfriend for who she is,
and not for the pleasure she provides
you.
Pray to be able to offer your
life for her in every way.
Pray to know and understand God's
teachings on sexuality.
Pray also, to do God's will — give
your life to Christ, accept Him
as Lord of your life and seek
to know what He wants and then do it.
Open your heart to Him and be
willing to give up everything
that stands between you and a
relationship with Christ.
No, my question is not a joke. We
look up to these adult film stars:
Evan Stone
Jenna Jameson
and so on.
We see them as our heroes, and read
their memoirs. Jenna Jameson is the
world's most famous adult film star and
she is Catholic. She also got married
in a Roman Catholic service and her
husband, at that time, was a porn
star as well, though they are now
divorced.
We plan to do this for twenty years
or maybe more after we have children.
We love the lifestyle and feel we
are desired and wanted. It feels
like family and maybe it is.
It's
my life and I just want to be accepted.
Adam
Paul replied:
Adam,
Be sure to hit Reply to All when
you respond so all of us here can
give our two cents in trying to help
you.
I would just add that if porn stars
are your heroes by virtue of their
work in pornography, a work that
destroys countless souls, (rather
than their repentance and rejection
of it) then the devil must be happy.
Lust, fornication and masturbation
are not pleasing to God, who designed
us for permanent and exclusive marital
love, open to life. These contradictions
of our nature keep people from knowing
God and seeing reality, in general,
for what it is. It blinds the soul.
It is a major stumbling block to
both wisdom and joy, and perhaps
just as addictive as heroin.
I would suggest taking steps, small
ones, if necessary, to wean yourself
off this realm of satan. Take advantage
of the needed sacraments of Confession
and Holy Communion in the process.
God will bring you into the realm
of freedom and true happiness, but
only if you let Him.
Paul
Adam replied:
Hi, Paul —
Porn stars are my heroes. Everyone
I know wants to be an adult film
star as well. It's a tough job; you're:
always working
always on the road, and
you have to be physically fit.
I do not see how this vocation destroys
someone's soul.
Is masturbation wrong as well?
Would we still be accepted by
the Church if we did adult films
exclusively between us with no
one else?
Would it be wrong if me and Anna
were independent porn stars who
met doing a scene together then
we fell in love with each other?
Would it be wrong if Anna got
an enhancement?
Adam
Paul replied:
Adam,
Again, please remember to
hit the Reply to All button
when responding.
Everything you mention, again, would
be condemned by the Church, which
means it is condemned by Christ.
These are not matters of minor sins,
but major ones.
If you don't want to believe us,
perhaps you'll believe the authority
of Christ through the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Here are some quotes verbatim from
the Catechism.
Offenses against chastity
.
.
. 2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.
Offenses against chastity.
.
.
2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure.
"Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action." (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Persona humana 9)
"The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose." For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved." (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Persona humana 9)
To form an equitable judgment about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.
Catholic Church, Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2nd Ed. (Vatican City: Libreria Editrice Vaticana, 1997), pp. 564–65
Offenses against chastity
.
.
. 2351 2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.
Offenses against chastity.
.
.
2353 Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.
Paul
Mike replied:
Dear, Adam —
I just wanted to add to the fine
comments my colleagues have made.
I do feel sorry for the radicalized,
immoral world that you have been
brought up in. Cultural situations,
similar to the one you and Anna are
in, tend to view the Catholic Church
as the Church of No. This is
incorrect and misleading; the Church
and Her teachings are their for our
own well-being and salvation.
The Catholic Church is the
Church of Divine Logic and Love, not
the Church of No.
Everything Jesus and His Church teaches
to this day is for you and Anna's
well-being and salvation.
You said:
How can we get
our choice to be accepted by our
faith?
The question you have asked is similar
to saying:
How can we get the Church to
accept our decision to step into
oncoming traffic on a major highway
with vehicles going over 80 MPH?
It makes no sense unless you want
to hurt yourself. The only reason
it appears to make sense is because:
many young Catholics in the
Church have been poorly catechized
by their parents, and
due to our fallen nature, we
all struggle with concupiscence,
and will continue to struggle
with it, until we are 6 feet under
the ground : )
It also appears that the ambitions
both you have, contradict
each other. You have said that both
of you wish to be porn stars.
One cannot get hooked in
a lifestyle of self-love
and, at the same time, give oneself
to their spouse.
One is a vocation
of selfishness
to your own lust
One is a vocation
of selflessness
to your future wife.
The family lifestyle is one of sacrifice,
many times painful, from start to
finish.
Nevertheless, just like Jesus' Family
Life, it has:
Joyous moments
Luminous moments
Suffering moments, and
Glorious moments
It's not a life of 100% pain and
suffering.
It mirrors the Father giving us everything
in His Son and, in return, the Son
giving back to the Father. The power
of the love, between the Father and
the Son is so strong, it generates
the
Holy Spirit, the fruit of your love:
the children you and Anna plan to
have together.
You said: We plan to do
this for twenty years or maybe more after
we have children.
The fact that both you and Anna are
entertaining being porno stars, after
having children, tells me neither
of you understand what family life
entails. As my mother, Dorothy, who
recently passed away said,
Michael, It's a lifetime
commitment.
You said: Jenna Jameson
is the world's most famous adult
film star and she is Catholic. She also
got married in a Roman Catholic service.
Come on Adam. I'm sure you and Anna
know that there are many scandalous
Catholics in the Church that are
Catholic in name only.
Just because someone scandalizes
the faith, doesn't mean it is OK
to follow their scandalous lead.
Like I have told my niece and nephews,
ages 10 to 20:
In today's culture, if you
are not a leader, by default you
are a follower . . . so be a leader!
Don't be a follower Adam.
Don't be a follower Anna.
Lead with Catholic Christian words,
actions and principles.
Could you be mocked?
Sure, but so was Jesus, so you're in
good company : )
You said: We love the lifestyle
and feel we are desired and wanted.
It feels like family and maybe it
is.
Is there sacrifice involved
in this family?
If not, it is not family, but just
a feel good community
of like-minded hedonistic people.
You said: When we have
children, we will support whatever
their career decision is, including
if they want to be adult film stars
like us.
As a father and mother it will be
both your responsibility's to bring
them up with Catholic Christian values.
If they don't get solid Christian
values from well-catechized Catholic
parents, do you think those in
the pornography world are going
to provide it?
Are you prepared to accept the
responsibility of bringing new
life into the world, a manifestation
of your love for each other,
without instilling the proper
Christian values in your children?
This doesn't necessarily have to
do with obeying the teachings of
a Church you don't want to follow. Society, itself, legally requires
certain responsibilities from the
parents to ensure the children, you
and Anna bring forth, are cared for
appropriately, at the federal, state
and local levels.
Also check out YouCat, Youth Catechism.
It's the new Catechism for young
adults that was initiated and approved
by the Vatican. It's also in a question
and answer format.
Both of you should get to Confession
and attend Mass on a regular basis
as my colleagues have suggested.
Hope this helps, and as Paul said,
feel free to write back and reply.
Mike
Adam replied:
Hello Mike
I want Anna and I to be accepted
by our faith and our families, but
we still want to be adult film stars.
Like I asked Paul:
Would we still be accepted by
the Church if we did adult films
exclusively between us with no
one else?
Would it be wrong if me and Anna
were independent porn stars who
met doing a scene together then
we fell in love with each other?
Would it be wrong if Anna got
an enhancement?
It's just work. We would just be
making a living; it's not a bad job
and it's not as if we are being selfish.
In addition, it's pleasing to her,
myself and others.
Adam
Mike replied:
Dear Adam,
If you are 17 and Anna is a similar
age, by this time the Lord has given
both, you and Anna, the logic and
reasoning behind the various parts
of your bodies and how they
were meant to compliment each other.
No matter what choices you make,
the Church and its members will always
love you (in the true sense of love) and be praying for both, you and
Anna.
Nevertheless, as I implied in my
last reply, because the Catholic
Church was founded by Christ Himself
and is the Church of Divine Logic
and Love, the Church can never, and
will never, accept you and Anna being
a porn star.
Suggesting that your vocation would
be exclusively between you and Anna,
and would exclude others, sounds
like you are rationalizing a lesser
of two grave evils. (Not much of
a lesser evil.)
Sorry, my good friend, it doesn't
work that way. The Lord is interested
in every single aspect of
your body
and soul, and
Anna's body and soul.
You said:
Would it be wrong
if Anna got an enhancement?
I think this posting will help answer
your question. The short answer:
For a medical necessity, No; in order
to visually please both you and your
pimp's, Yes.
You said: It's just work.
We would just be making a living;
it's not a bad job and it's not as
if we are being selfish.
In addition, it's pleasing
to her, myself and others.
You are rationalizing what you are
doing. It's not work; you get paid
for it, but that doesn't mean it's
work.
It's pleasure, outside its intended
purpose, and you know it. The Lord
designed the bodies of both the male
and female to work togetherto
bring forth new life. You initially
started your question by saying:
I am a smart, 17-year-old guy who loves riding
motorcycles.
Don't you want to be able to
be co-creators with Almighty God
and bring forth new life that
never existed without your cooperation
with Him?
If you value Anna so much, and
value what you see in her, then
wouldn't you want to bring forth
new lives that have the traits
of both you and Anna?
If you really think you are smart,
don't you want to be able to pass
on your smart-ness to
future generations?
If Anna values your smart-ness,
wouldn't she want this as well?
The people you are associated with
will do everything they can to keep
you and Anna in this lifestyle. Both
you deserve better.
Apart from the moral reasons not
to be a porn star, are the obviously
health and medical reasons associated
with this vocation.
What ever you do, how much can
you trust a friend to
keep you safe from diseases like H-I-V or AIDs?
How long do you wish to live?
Cradle Catholics can learn a lot
from converts to the Church. I certainly
have. When Scott Hahn,
a famous Presbyterian, came into
the Church, he said about Catholics:
We are like Rockefellers in
the ghettos who don't know how
to write out checks.
I believe the exact same thing is
true with single men and women who
have been addicted to the gay and
lesbian lifestyle.
The Lord Jesus Christ, has created
men and women and put the future
of our Christian society into
the procreative parts of their
bodies.
God tells us in Genesis, Go
forth and multiply. (This
is why I created you male and
female; and
not male and male; or female and
female.)
Men and women who are addicted
to the homosexual lifestyle are
like the Rockefellers in the
ghettos. They have the riches
of the future in their bodies
but have no appreciation for awesome
possibility the Lord has given
them to be co-creators with their
Creator, Himself! God can't bring
forth future generations on His
own. Neither can two men nor neither
two women in a natural, non-scientific manner. (For short: The parts don't fit!)
It requires a Trinity of joy,
light, sorrow, and glory among:
God
the Christian man, and
the
Christian woman.
All three of
them working in unison.
Jesus established His Church over
2,000 years ago. Since then, there
has been generation after generation
of people who have brought forth
the next generation of Christians. In doing so,
many have brought forth the Catholic
Gospel of Jesus Christ through the
proper Christian upbringing of their
children. Although, they may have
only lived 60 to 90 years before
passing to the next life, they have
left something for the next generation
that, hopefully, they can be proud
of.
My question to both the gay man and
lesbian in today's culture is:
When you pass from this life
to the next, what will you be
leaving for future generations
that come after you?
Two men or two women, taking care
of children from a broken family,
while admirable, is not something they have
given to the next generation; only
their biological father and mother
have.
My personal view is that men and
women get caught up in a homosexual
lifestyle due to:
a permissive, acceptable, environment
they are in
a poor catechetical upbringing,
and
bitter family relationships,
usually with the father or mother.
We should never use any bitterness
or, grudges we hold, against family
members as a means of getting back
at them. This is not a way to get
back at people who have hurt us, whether
they are our father, mother or both.
Bitterness and grudges should be
brought to Confession. If either
a gay man or lesbian reads this,
and is not a Catholic, go to a priest
any way and ask for a blessing.
One of the best things I love about
being a Catholic Christian is that
when anyone hurts us, or something
bad happens in our life, there is
always a future good that can be
pulled out of a hurt past.
If gay men and lesbians hold on to
their hurt past, they are giving
up on the greater good God has in
store for them.
Mike
Paul replied:
Adam,
Your continuous theme seems to be
acceptance. God invites, we accept. The
question should be:
Am I accepting God by doing
this?
We reject God with mortal sin. Which
means we reject His Friendship and
eternal salvation by knowingly choosing
mortal sin. Because of this, we cannot
go up to receive Holy Communion while
being in a state of serious sin.
It's a contradiction to willingly
reject God with our actions and seek
to be intimate with Him in Communion.
This comes down to being a choice
between God and self.
Not only is doing pornography a matter
of mortal sin, but watching it is
too. All sex outside of marriage
is mortal sin. God has made this
clear. Sexual sin tends to blind
the mind and soul so it is difficult
to understand moral truth when living
in the midst of it.
God invites, but we have the free
will to reject Him. The important
question we should always be asking
is:
Are we living in accord with
God's will?
Whenever we honestly answer No, Jesus
awaits us in the merciful Sacrament
of Reconciliation, where, with sincere
sorrow and a resolution to sin no
more, that relationship with Him
and His offer of salvation may be
restored.
Peace,
Paul
Adam replied:
Hi, guys —
The actors are only sharing a scene
with the actors. It's only acting;
its not love, but only sex. There
is no emotion. It's story telling
or creating someone else's desire
or fantasy.
Is it wrong to encourage the
children we have down the road
to get into this industry as well?
Our children have to accept or understand
what we did for a living. We see
no bad consequences with this vocation.
It's not like I killed someone; I
am only making myself happy. I have
not sold my soul to the devil. We
respect our bodies and take care
of them as well. We are models, and
are not overweight.
She is the one for me and God knows
that I do pray the Rosary. It's a
job, it's not about pleasure, its
being a film star and, at the end
of the day, we may be big stars that
may lead into different careers e.g.
Medical. Porn stars get tested
monthly for HIV; we want to live
a long life too.
We have self respect and dignity
for each other and I honor her body.
It's about two people who are in
love, sharing one another's soul,
spirit, and mind. We love to have
the attention we have as models.
Adam
Mike replied:
Hi, Adam —
You said: The actors are
only sharing a scene with the actors,
its only acting; its not love, but
only sex, there is no emotion.
This is called using other people,
like Anna, as an object of your pleasure,
not as a wife who you are willing
to sacrifice your life for. You say
you want to marry Anna in the future,
but I sense you really have no idea
what marriage entails.
You said:
Is it wrong to
encourage the children we have
down the road to get into this
industry as well?
Our children have
to accept or understand what we did
for a living. We see there are no
consequences.
Yes, it is wrong, because you will
be teaching them that Christian marriage
and passing on Christian values is
not important. You will be teaching
them that All you have to
do in life is feel good, even if
it destroys today's culture and the
next generation. We see
this today. Those in the Gen X and
Y generation are getting older but
because many of their children have
rejected Christian marriage, for
the gay lifestyle, they have no children
to care for them.
Plus, I have a question for you.
Who says your children have to
accept what you and Anna do for
a living?
They have their own free will and
they may choose a vocation that is
totally different than that of a
porn star.
Maybe your children will want
to become Catholic priests or
Catholic nuns!
As I said earlier, you and Anna will
be responsible for bringing them
up with Catholic Christian values,
but even if you do this, you can't
force your sex-crazy lifestyle on
them. It is their vocational calling, not either of yours.
You said: It's not like I killed someone; I
am only making myself happy. I have
not sold my soul to the devil. We
respect our bodies and take care
of them as well. We are models, and
are not overweight.
The lifestyle you are choosing will
kill your soul over time and get
you into habits that are very hard
to break plus:
How do you know that you have
not sold your soul to the devil?
Are your pornography directors,
pimps and family members,
your pope?
Are you able to break from the
decisions that your pornography
directors and pimps expect you
to make?
Maybe you and Anna are already addicted,
but don't know it.
You said: She is the one for me and God knows
that I do pray the Rosary. It's a
job, it's not about pleasure, its
being a film star and, at the end
of the day, we may be big stars that
may lead into different careers e.g.
Medical.
.
. We have self
respect and dignity for each other
and I honor her body.
Adam, if Anna is the one for
you, why do you bring an array
of gay men and women into your
psychological life for your acting,
knowing, full well, that the psychological
effects of a pornographic lifestyle,
will detract from your focus on
your future wife?
Is this the respect you want
to show her?
You said: Porn stars get
tested monthly for HIV; we want to
live a long life too.
Wake up Adam. There would be no need
to get tested on a regular basis
if this was
not a healthy career for
both you and your future wife.
As far as the other stars,
I'm sure they think what they are
doing is OK and maybe even Christian,
but it is not.
If a mother entrusts her son to a
cub scout leader and the leader takes
them on a trip up a mountain, and
the cub scout leader tells the cubs
that they will be OK if they jump
off a 25-foot cliff, does the sincerity
of the cub leader that the cubs won't
get hurt, mean anything, when many, if not, all of them die?
He sincerely thought no one would
get hurt, but
they did.
Your friends have not been catechized
appropriately. Most of them are probably
uncatechized Catholics who were never
taught the faith correctly.
Even if your friends do Christian-like
things and are porn stars,
this does not mean they have a well-formed
Catholic Christian consciences, which
is what everyone needs: Catholic
Christians and non-Catholic Christians
alike.
You said: It's about two
people who are in love, sharing one
another's soul, spirit, and mind.
No, not quite. It's about a life-time commitment of sharing one another's body, soul, spirit, and mind. Also, you said it was about two people.
Which two?
the woman you acted with yesterday?
the different woman you acted
with the day before yesterday?
the man you acted with last week?
Anna, who you acted with today?
You are showing no commitment.
As you said: I am only making
myself happy.
What happened to making Anna
happy?
What happened to Anna making
you happy? or
Is she really committed to you and are
you really committed to her?
Mike
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