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Chris,
It's important to note that suffering is not an absolute evil to be avoided but something that Jesus Christ redeemed and transformed into an instrument of glorification. St. Paul says,
| "I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us." (Romans 8:18, RSV2CE) |
And again,
| "More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." (Romans 5:3-5, RSV2CE). |
What I think you fail to consider is the life to come. This life is not the end; we are immortal beings. Our hope is to be fully united with God in the life to come, where God will . . .
| "wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away." (Revelation 21:4, RSV2CE). |
Compared to eternity, our suffering here on earth is pretty insignificant.
- Ten thousand years from now, will our pain in this life really matter?
It looms large for us now, but even if suffering did not serve to perfect and sanctify us (which it does, when accepted in the right spirit), in the scheme of things, the pain will be forgotten.
"When a woman is in labor, she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she is delivered of the child, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a child is born into the world. So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you."
(John 16:21–22, RSV2CE) |
St. Rose of Lima, a woman of exquisite kindness, is worth quoting:
"If only mortals would learn how great it is to possess divine grace … they would devote all their care and concern to winning for themselves pains and afflictions. All men throughout the world would seek trouble, infirmities and torments, instead of good fortune, in order to attain the unfathomable treasure of grace. This is the reward and the final gain of patience. No one would complain about his cross or about troubles that may happen to him, if he would come to know the scales on which they are weighed when they are distributed to men."
(Cited in Frederick W. Mark's, The Gift of Pain (Steubenville, OH: Emmaus Road Publishing, 2012), p. 5) |
St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta once said,
| "Suffering is a kiss from Jesus." |
This quote expresses Mother Teresa's belief that suffering when embraced with love and faith, can bring one closer to God. She saw the presence of Jesus in the midst of human suffering and considered it an opportunity for spiritual growth and union with Christ.
"The joy and the beauty of God's kingdom is such that if we knew it, we would suffer martyrdom continuously for a thousand years for it would seem as nothing compared with the beauty of God's kingdom."
Father Spyridon, A martyr who appeared to Elder Paisios.
The Purpose of our Life on Earth. |
I have myself suffered greatly in this life. But the suffering has brought me indescribable joy and peace, and by no means do I regret it because I accepted it as a means of sanctification and grace. I suspect your desire to avoid suffering for a potential child is more reflective of your own negative experience and perspective than it is reflective of your potential experience and perspective.
- Do you really think that everyone — or at least a statistical majority — wishes they had never existed and considers the sufferings of this life not worth existence?
That seems to be your argument. Perhaps you feel that way, but I do not, and neither do many others, and there is no guarantee that a child you have will end up feeling the same way. Your child may end up experiencing the eternal joy and happiness of Heaven, eternally grateful that you were generous enough to conceive them.
"Believers have the further advantage of being able to look forward to a glorious life in Heaven provided they do their part. Pain is temporary, and death is rebirth in the eyes of those who view life as a growing-up process.
Consider the analogous situation of a baby in pain. The child's problem could be gastrointestinal, or it could be teething. Whatever it is, the parents are not unduly alarmed because they anticipate a bright future for their offspring. And so it is with us. If we place our trust in God, we too can ride out life's difficulties knowing that, down the line, we have a bright future."
(Cited in Frederick W. Mark's, The Gift of Pain (Steubenville, OH: Emmaus Road Publishing, 2012), pp. 7–8)
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We can have hope and joy in Christ, not merely in spite of our sufferings but because of them. I encourage you to embrace suffering as a "kiss from Jesus" — you are going to suffer anyway, so you may as well embrace and accept it and put it to good use by offering it up as a sacrifice to God. Do not let it go to waste!
For more information on the Catholic understanding of the role of suffering, please read Pope St. John Paul II's work:
Eric
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