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Anonymous Alex wrote:

Hi, guys —

My wife and I have been married for almost 8 years. We have children but have recently started following NFP to start spacing them out a little more (we have 6). My wife and I are very sexually active and want to follow NFP, but most of all we want to please God and stay within our Catholic beliefs and guidelines.

We obtain from sexual intercourse in the fertile window, but when she’s fertile is also when she is most interested/turned on. My question:


During her fertile window, sometimes we engage in other sexual actions such as oral or digital stimulation for her only, because I feel bad for her and want her to be satisfied when she’s the most turned on. Then when she’s outside of her fertile window, we have sexual intercourse.

  • Is this wrong?

She feels guilty since I don’t finish; but I tell her not to be because I just want her to be taken care of and that the wait will be worth it for me.

Thank you for your reply!

Alex
  { Is this arousal and engaging in sexual actions, during her fertile window of our lovemaking, wrong? }

Paul  replied:

Alex,

If you ponder God's design of human nature, there's a reason that sexual desire is at its peak during the fertile time. Humans (and other animals) have sexual desire in order to procreate. NFP enables us to cooperate with God's design of making women fertile only a certain number of days each month to have marital intimacy with a lesser chance of conceiving. Yet, sexual arousal must always be seen as the body's way of preparing for intercourse. To intentionally arouse a partner to orgasm outside the context of the marital act violates natural law.

There must be some sacrifice in the practice of NFP.

Peace,

Paul

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