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I am a Catholic who has re-found my faith after being lost for some time. I ask this question seeking some guidance on a fairly personal matter.
I want to abstain from sin, but I'm constantly relapsing. I've read the questions you answered on masturbation, but this goes beyond that. I find it extremely difficult not to consume pornography, adult chats, sex toys, and self-gratification. I've been doing it with no regard for my soul for 25 years.
I want to live by the rules of my faith but constantly relapse. I've resorted to wearing the cross and found this effective at lessening sin. I see Christ on my chest and aspire to stay clean and moral but during times when I'm not wearing it, I find myself sinning and feeling ashamed afterward.
How can I abstain from basic urges, and if I can't, is my soul Hell-bound?
I have considered buying a chastity device to wear when I'm having these urges. I thought maybe if I wore it during most waking hours for a few weeks or months, I could focus on Bible Study and accomplishing things I need to. I always backslide into sin. I hoped that with this device and my Cross, I would be able to reduce or eliminate sin greatly.
Is it a sin to wear such a device?
I want to focus on God. I am constantly pulled towards self-gratification. I'm a single man at 35. I have urges and cannot find a wife due to some health problems that have affected my work life. I know I can't be perfect, and at some point, everyone sins, but I want to try not to embrace it and be better.
So, to reiterate, the question at hand is how to stop, am I doomed, and is it okay to use a device to stop myself, or is it un-Christian to lock up my privates?
Antonio
{ What can I do to refrain from consuming pornography, adult chats, sex toys, and self-gratification. or is my soul doomed? }
Mike replied:
Dear Antonio,
All of us, from our adolescense to the day we pass from this Earthly life to the next life, will struggle with concupiscence. The Catechism talks about it here:
CCC 402-421
The consequences of Adam's sin for humanity.
A hard battle. . .
The only time we won't be struggling with this sin is when our bodies are 6-7 feet under the ground, but, no, your soul is not doomed! and I can tell from the e-mail you sent us you are striving to make a good effort.
So, the question is, what do I do?
Serious, mortal sin requires serious modern warfare tools. For the Catholic, they would be:
Going to Confession on a regular basis. (The bishops recommend going at least once a month, but if you're not scrupulous, go bi-weekly or weekly as Pope St. John Paul II did.)
If you have committed a mortal sin, go to Confession first before receiving Holy Communion; and in the meantime, say a Spiritual Communion (See below) in the pew while others are receiving. If you haven't committed a mortal sin, definitely receive Holy Communion.
Set aside at least 15 minutes to read the Scriptures letting the Holy Spirit guide you in what to read.
Consider wearing, as I do, a Five-Fold Scapular or the Brown Scapular along with a Miraculous Medal. Our Blessed Mother said that patrons of this medal who wear it around their neck will receive extra graces.
Spiritual Communion
O Lord Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar.
I love you above all things, (with all my mind, with all my heart, and with all my soul).
I love you because you are infinitely good and worthy of all my love.
Since I cannot receive You now sacramentally, at least come spiritually into my heart.
I embrace myself entirely to You and unite myself wholly to You.
Never permit me to be separated from You.
Come Lord Jesus and glorify Yourself through my weak, broken body.
Amen.
That said, we are not priests or counselors. For your specific situation, find a local priest either at a nearby parish, monastery, or convent who is faithful to the Church and get counseling and advice from him.
Let me leave on a positive reminder: Jesus, was a 100% True Man, like us in all things, but sin, so He understands our struggles so as the Army says, He just wants us to,