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Scott wrote: |
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Hi, Everybody —
I have a problem that is causing me a lot
of distress. I've written to you before, and
was hoping you could help.
I'm attending a Catholic parish here in North
Carolina. The people are wonderful and have
been very good to me. I've been at this parish
for over a year, but decided not to be confirmed
this past Easter because of some reservations
I have had.
My problem is this is a very liberal parish,
specifically, in regards to the number of
gays in the parish; I've met several.
I don't mean celibate, devout gays. I mean
gays who are in same-sex relationships, or
are single but sexually active. I joined the
choir because I love to sing, and have since
found out that most of the men in the choir
are active gays. (As a side note, the choir
director, who is a straight woman, lives with
her lover but they're not married. This is
common knowledge in the parish, and no one
seems to care.) A couple of the men have
hit on me, and everyone in the choir thinks
it's funny. My roommate also joined the choir,
and the choir director told me today that
a lot of the members in the choir have been
talking about us, wondering if we're "a
couple." Of course, I'm not surprised.
Most of the men on the choir are gay, so they
probably just assume we are too.
The priest performed a gay "marriage" last
year, right in the parish. I'm uncomfortable
going to choir practice now, because the men
talk about their sex lives and the gay clubs
they visited over the previous weekend. I've
heard a lot of nasty language, too. By the
way, all the gay men that I've met were confirmed
in the Church with the priest knowing full
well that they were active, unrepentant gays.
No one seems to care, not even the RCIA director
or the priest. I don't know what to do.
This parish is so gay that everyone just assumes
that two good friends of the same sex, who
are single, must automatically be gay.
I don't even feel like I'm in a church. I'm
an ordained Protestant minister who decided
to pursue the Catholic faith after two years
of research into Church history, but now I'm
wondering if I made a huge mistake.
- Is this a common problem of the Catholic
Church in America?
I feel downright harassed.
Help!
Scott
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| { As a convert, is
a gay culture a common problem among Catholic parishes
in the Church? } |
Mike
replied:
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Hi, Scott —
First, I applaud you for taken constructive
actions on the issue.
No man can grow in holiness in the
atmosphere you're currently in, and
with the scandalous
"Judas examples" in your
local parish. I believe it was a
wise choice to hold off on Confirmation
until you find a parish that:
- is loyal to the
Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI,
and
- has parishioners
that are faithful, practicing Catholics.
You said:
I'm attending
a Catholic parish here in North Carolina.
The people are wonderful and have
been very good to me.
With friends like those, who needs
enemies : (
I would search the links below for
other churches in your area. Stop
by, and talk to various pastors and
priests as well as the participating parishioners from the different parishes.
It may take a while to find a solid
Church, but perseverance is the key.
Look for parishes that have Eucharistic Adoration Chapels and Rosary devotions.
Raleigh:
Charlotte:
Note: If anyone wishes to find a
diocesan website they should try Catholic Hierarchy.
Secondly, if you feel the spirit
calling you, I would see if I could
make an appointment to talk to the
bishop. Tell the secretary
your faith (journey and/or history), concerns
and what you have encountered. The
bishop should know about this situation.
Our previous Holy Father's admonition
was "Be not afraid!"
I encourage you to do two things:
- Keep a daily prayerful life
— whatever that is for you.
- Separate the Divinely protected
Truth of the Church from Judas
examples that are obviously present
in your local parish: From:
- the pastor, to
- the director of the choir,
to
- its members.
For those interested, Scott has asked
us these previous questions:
We would be interested in hearing back
from you and will be praying for
you!
Hope this helps,
Mike
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Eric
replied:
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Hi Scott,
That's a very tough position to be
in. I'm not sure if you were an Evangelical,
but I know how difficult it can be
for Evangelical Protestants to adjust
to the average Catholic parish, which
is woefully inadequate for meeting
the needs that Evangelicals are accustomed
to in their churches. Your parish
seems to be much worse than usual.
Don't be discouraged. Remember you
are not joining for the fellowship
or for the good sermons or for whatever other reason, but because it is the Mystical
Body of Christ which possesses the
fullness of Truth. It is not fellowship
or good sermons that make a Church
authentic: it's being in full communion
with the one Body of Christ.
It's entirely apt to look at the
history of Israel. Israel in the
Old Testament *was* the one People
of God, the Daughter of Zion, the
firstborn son. They, (The people of
Israel), did not always live out this
vocation: in fact, they usually didn't.
There were periods when prophets
lamented that they were the only
ones faithful who were left.
Israel went through periods of
rampant paganism and infidelity
but did that nullify the promise
of God?
<No, it did not.>
They were *still*
the People of God, the Chosen People,
despite their infidelities, despite
how far they went astray. The people
of the Catholic Church have never
gone as far astray as Israel did
in its whoring after foreign gods.
Even your parish has not come
to this. :-)
- Is it pleasant? <By no means!>
- Are you right to expect, and
wish for fidelity in your parish? <Absolutely!>
- Does its infidelity prove that
the Catholic Church is not the
Church God is calling you
(and everyone else) to join? <Certainly
not.>
The Church is a family, not an association
of like-minded individuals.
This is, in part, why we have so
many ignoble elements in the Church:
perhaps we can't stand our brother,
but he is, and remains, our brother,
and so it has gone on for generations.
Protestants come and go from their
churches, but Catholics tend to maintain
their association to the Catholic Church, even after they stop believing
in its doctrines and, even after they
stop going to church, just as estranged
members of the family are still members
of the family. So this helps explain
why Catholic parishes tend to be
such a mixed bag, (though one would
hope your parish was more thoroughly
mixed than it is!)
Don't let your understandable visceral
distaste for the nonsense in your
parish deter you from the intellectual
decision to join the Catholic Church,
where you will receive much more
grace than in those churches with
excellent sermons and good fellowship.
I faced this question when I was
deciding to return to the fullness
of Catholicism from a detour in Evangelicalism.
I decided that ugly or not, the Catholic
Church is my mother and that's where I belong.
Sorry for the length, but I hope
this helps!
Eric
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Mary
Ann replied:
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Dear Scott,
Confirmation is not done because
of a particular parish. You are not
being incorporated into that community,
but fully initiated into the Body
of Christ through the Seal of the
Spirit.
If the pastor is as knowing and allowing
as you say, he obviously does not
have the same concept of the faith
as the faith that you would be confirmed
in. That would make anyone uncomfortable.
For the short term, quit the choir,
where the harassment seems to take
place, and which is the near occasion
of the greatest scandal to you. We
are supposed to avoid near occasions
of sin.
- As for the community at large: I
am assuming the people who are so
wonderful are not in the choir?
. . .
and they may be utterly ignorant.
So you can, do as so many of us
do in our church, which has been,
in many parishes, hijacked — duck
our heads and stay for the sacraments
— if there is no other alternative.
Your experience is not typical, though
unfortunately it is not rare. For
the longer term, I would say find
another parish. You don't need, at
this point, the aggravation of being
an evangelist and table-over turner,
and besides, the bishop may not be
congenial to reform.
Bear in mind that what you are witnessing
is not Catholic, but it definitely
has a pedigree.
Reread the epistles of Jude and Second Peter.
Mary Ann
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Fr. Francis replied:
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Dear Scott,
I first would like to introduce myself.
I am a Roman Catholic priest from
the Archdiocese of Boston and a priest
supporter of C-PATS. I was forwarded
your e-mail by Mike Humphrey and really
felt drawn and inspired to respond.
My first comment Scott is praise
God for the Lord putting such a love
not only for the Lord Jesus Christ
but His Bride the Church, our Mother,
to have undertaken this journey.
I am a grandson of a Baptist grandfather
who made this journey, however, on
top of it all, you are making an
even greater step in being a minister
of the Lord. I want to extend my
hand to you as a brother in the Lord.
Scott, in reading your comments about
the parish you have been involved
with I was stunned. I am not going
to say there are no parishes like
that at all in the Church in the
United States — sadly I
am aware of a few, but I expected
the Church in the South to be more
conservative
— like their Protestant brothers
and sisters in their environs. I
obviously was wrong.
Scott, what you have seen, witnessed,
and sadly experienced, is not the
norm. It certainly does not express
Catholic Church teaching and practice,
and it is not representative of the
vast numbers of parishes in the United
States. Sadly, in attempting to be "compassionate
and pastoral" some Catholics, yes, sadly even a small minority
of priests, have separated "Truth"
from "love". As the Church of Ephesus was warned
(Revelation 2:1-7): you cannot be "orthodox" without
love. The Church in Thyatira (Revelation 2:18-29) was warned:
- you cannot live in His love without
living in the Truth
- keeping His commandments and
- not being led astray by those
claiming to be more 'enlightened'.
Those who claim that what you do
in the body does not matter; it is
only the soul — the intention
that counts are in error.
Scott, much like Abraham and Lot,
you have already journeyed far, but
I urge you to flee and don't even
look back. There are other parishes,
Catholic parishes in your area. Look
deeper into the parish community
and the celebration of the Eucharist — Mass
there. This is what I would look
for:
- Is the word of God proclaimed?
The (priest or homilist) might not
be the greatest speaker; you might have
done much better, but
- Is Christ,
and the new life of grace He desires
to share with us, at the center?
- Is the homily Christ-centered
and faithful to the teachings
of the Church?
- What kind of catechesis goes
on:
- for the young?
- for those entering the
Church, or
- for the ongoing nourishment
of the parish?
- Is the celebration of the Eucharist
real worship of the Father in
Spirit and in Truth — 'oriented
to the Father' through
the Son's Death and Resurrection,
in the power of the Spirit, and
not centered on "us — the
community"?
- Is the worshipping community
aware they are in the Presence
of the Lord encountering the Risen
Christ?
(They might not show this with
much affect or emotion; It could
be a deep awe as Elijah had before
the "little breeze'.)
- Does the Community recognize
its unity is in Christ (Baptism-sealed
with the Spirit in Confirmation
and expressed in the Eucharist),
and not simply more of a surface
community, happening to know each
others' names?
- If the parish has Eucharistic
adoration, all the better! It
is a great grace, but its absence
is not necessarily a negative
sign. It might be an issue
of the number of people available
for Adoration.
- Is the spiritual life-prayer
encouraged?
- Are there opportunities other
than Mass for prayer:
- prayer groups,
- Rosary groups,
- etc?
- Is spiritual growth encouraged?
- Is the parish community unabashedly
in union with the Pope?
We are Christ-centered, not Pope-centered,
however the Pope is mentioned
in the Eucharistic Prayer and
should be mentioned, at least
occasionally, in the Prayers of
the Faithful.
Finally, there should
never be a dissenting voice from
the pulpit about the Holy Father.
Look at the bulletin.
- What kind
of sense of mission does the parish
have?
- to the youth,
- to the elderly, and
- to the poor etc.?
These things can give you a sense
of whether or not the parish has
a clear sense of mission.
Scott, this list is not all-encompassing.
They are the ones that come to my
mind as I write this e-mail to you.
It is difficult for me, as a priest,
to write this to you, a minister,
but I need to do so.
Five hundred or so years ago, because
of a new invention (the printing
press) and the new explorations,
(Columbus and America), the Middle
Ages suddenly came to an end and
a new era, filled with all sorts
of possibilities, was born. The new
age had a new way of looking at itself:
- no longer Europe-centered because
of Columbus
- no longer Earth-centered because
of Copernicus, and
- a new way of communicating (the
printing press) changed the culture
from oral to literary.
The whole of the West was in drastic
change, and the Catholic Church went
into the storm of change unprepared despite
the cries of saints (Saint Catherine
of Genoa, Saint Bridget of Sweden,
and the like) The Church needed reforming
— needing to be called to its
real identity and mission
— yet the hierarchy was slow
in responding.
The Protestant Reformation broke
upon the Church, but instead of calling
the Church to her real identity and
mission, it spoke out not simply
against the sins in the Church (saints
were doing that!), but tried to get
a "pure church" . . . one
just like the one found in the New
Testament.
What happened was the fragmenting
of the Church into what is now something
like 30,000 denominations. The Catholic
Reform began, in earnest, far too
late. They shored up the identity
of the Church and its mission, but
in response to the "Protestant
Reformers".
Scott, between 1570
and 1960 both the Catholic Church
and Protestant denominations identified
themselves "from each other" — based
on how (they or we) were different.
Just as the Catholic Church was beginning
to define herself in a way, not in
opposition to Protestants, a vast
cultural revolution took over in
history. As five hundred years ago,
we had a new way of looking at ourselves,
today we have a new way, as a global
village living on a relatively small
blue ball in space and a new way
of communicating: the computer and
Internet!
We are moving (or already have) from
the modern to post-modern age, as
are Judaism, Islam and the Church
- Catholic, Orthodox and Protestant;
moving through vast changes — fast!
What you are witnessing is the fruit
of the change.
In change, some lose
their focus and sense of gravity. Be
not afraid! Keep on the journey
you have begun. Remember the promise
of Christ with Peter, that the gates
of hell cannot prevail against us! (Matthew 16:13-19)
Your brother in Christ,
Father Francis
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