Dear Amanda,

Congratulations!

The marriage of two Christians is a marvelous mystery. You and your daughter are free to follow your conscience. Neither one of you are bound to become Catholic. You must promise not to interfere with the raising of the children, as Catholics, (that you have from this marriage to a Catholic), that's all.

You may continue to go to the church of your denomination. You will find all of this difficult to live out in practice, but it can be a source of charity and good discussion (or it can be a never ending source of conflict).

It would be good for you to study the Faith just so you understand your mate better — there are actually good (and funny) books about Catholicism for non-Catholic spouses or you could consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church on Amazon.

I wish you all well in your new life!

Mary Ann

Dear Amanda,

My name is Father Francis and I am one of the "writers" at this website. The situation,
if I understand it correctly, is this: You are a non-Catholic Christian and have a child of your own and you are now engaged to a Catholic.

What the Church "requires" is that you allow your spouse-to-be to raise your children (the children you have together) as Catholics. The Church does not require either you or your child to enter into full communion with the Catholic Church unless you so desire.

Hope this helps.

Father Francis

Dear Amanda,

While the Catholic party is obliged to do everything possible to bring their children up Catholic, this would only apply to children born of the marriage.

Your three year old would be a pre-existing obligation, and she would be within your parental responsibility to bring your daughter up in her current faith.

When a couple requests to be married, there is a question which asks if either party has a
pre-existing obligation in justice. A child from a previous relationship would constitute this
pre-existing obligation.

Fr. Nick