Hi Jason,

Thank you for your questions. Before I address some of them let me start by saying:

I'm sure the rest of my colleagues join me in thanking God for your life. Jason, you were made in God's image and likeness and yet you are one of kind. As such, you are special in God's sight and ours. We thank God, the Holy Spirit, for drawing you to the Catholic Church. We welcome you as part of the family. Although you have not yet been received into the fullness of the faith, it is abundantly evident that the Lord has called you.

Now for your questions. Before we deal with theology, let's talk about the personal and most important question you ask:

2. Am I barred from the love of God due to my past sins and transgressions?

Keep in mind that I was deeply anti-Christian for some time, especially anti-Catholic.

Is there anyway I can still become a Catholic?
Is there hope for me?

Jason, the Church is full of redeemed sinners who still struggle with sin. In other words, welcome to the club!!

The only sin that God cannot forgive is the sin of not accepting forgiveness. You said you were deeply anti-Christian. Well a man, Paul of Tarsus, who made a career out of hunting down Christians, persecuting them, and even overseeing their executions, wrote much of the
New Testament. We now refer to him as none other than St. Paul.

Before he converted, his name was Saul. He was a zealous anti-Christian Pharisee.

After converting, St. Paul become the Apostle to the Gentiles (non-Jews). He planted many Churches and he boldly preached that Gospel throughout the known world. Many fundamental Christian doctrines were developed in and from his writings. The man who once killed Christians, became one of the greatest Saints in Church history.

So my friend, while your sins (like all of ours) are deplorable, there is, of course, hope for you.
We serve the God of Hope.

You said:

3. What is the Church's view on the Seventh-Day Adventists, especially Ellen White?

The Church itself does not have an official teaching on the SDA nor specifically Ellen White.
The Church would praise the SDA for its faith in Jesus Christ and the entire Blessed Trinity. Conversely, the Church would also condemn many SDA teachings as heresy. This holds true
for any Christian community, which have separated themselves from the One, Holy, Catholic,
and Apostolic Church.

As someone who has done some counter cult ministry, (both as a Protestant and a Catholic),
it is my opinion that the SDA not only teach some fairly serious heresies, but also exhibit some aberrational and controlling practices. While I would not go so far as to call it a cult, it has shown cult-like tendencies. Nevertheless, it has retained orthodox Christology and its doctrines are fairly close to classical Protestantism so I would best describe the sect as an aberrational denomination.

All that said; the SDA members I've met have all been sincere and charitable Christians who are following Christ according to their limited understanding of the Gospel.

You said:

4. Are my prayers heard even though I have never gone to Confession?

Yes, God hears everyone's sincere prayers. In fact it is the Holy Spirit that is leading you to pray.

You said:

5. Can a non-Catholic go to Confession?
   How do I go about this?

A non-Catholic can only go to Confession in the most extreme circumstances. In other words,
if you were on your deathbed, and of your own free will, you asked for priest to come hear your Confession.

If you desire Confession, then you really should become a Catholic.

The first step for you is to talk a priest; he can give you all the particulars about becoming a Catholic. He will be able to direct you into a program we call RCIA . It will involve a little study over a few months.

In the meantime, while a priest can't administer the sacrament of Confession to you until you enter the Church, he can still give you spiritual direction and you can share your burdens with him.

I'll leave the question about mortification for another colleague who could better explain the practice but again, let me take this opportunity to welcome you home and thank the Lord Jesus for bringing through your tribulation and across our paths.

Under His Mercy,

John DiMascio

Jason,

Praise God that you seem to be on a good track after what sounds like a long ordeal.
Here are some of my thoughts that may be of help to you regarding your concerns.

You said:
Upon reading about Saint Rose of Lima, I learned of her startling mortifications (crown of thorns, bed of glass and rocks, flagellation, etc.) and it frankly scared me.

1. How is mortification explained within the Church?

I read (and I apologize as I do not know the verse) that the Apostle Paul stated that the body was the temple of God, and that we were not to hurt it or treat it poorly.

How does that relate to mortification?
Why would a God of love want us to beat ourselves, so to speak?

If you only answer one question, please answer this one as it really has caused me to stumble.

The type of mortifications that you read about by St. Rose are strictly personal. That was between her and God, and perhaps a very zealous conscience. The Catholic Church requires no such demands and frankly, if you were to do the same as St. Rose, you would probably get some rather serious concern, and scrutiny, from those in the Church. It is a mystery how some great saints have had some rather odd ways of interpreting God's call to holiness (and sacrifice).

I personally think that those individuals' passion for God was so great that it made them almost inebriated and beyond the realm of reason.

• Who is to say if it was God's prompting or their own; would we say that about Abraham?

I wouldn't compare yourself to them. I'm sure God is not going to call you to do such crazy things.

That being said, Christ does expect us to mortify, or reign in our senses when they become susceptible to sin. Consider some of Jesus words, it is better to lose an eye, ....hand... body ....than be thrown into Gehenna. (Matthew 5:29-30; Matthew 18:9; Mark 9:47) We need to really seek holiness, regardless of the cost. Sometimes, He said, certain demons could only be thrown out by prayer and fasting. (Mark 9:29) Fasting is mortification. It may not be violent like some of the things you enumerated but it can be radical. In some form or another, we all need to make some radical changes to effect change in ourselves.

Finally, what the Church officially teaches regarding mortification (prayer, fasting, etc.) can be obtained through the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2043:

The fourth precept ("You shall observe the days of fasting and abstinence established by the Church") ensures the times of ascesis and penance which prepare us for the liturgical feasts and help us acquire mastery over our instincts and freedom of heart. (cf. Code of Canon Law, canons 1249-1251; Corpus Canonum Ecclesiarum Orientalium, canon 882.)

It is pretty easy, a few special days (Lent) of the year are treated not unlike our Jewish predecessors.

You said:
I feel as though my past sins are near insurmountable.

2. Am I barred from the love of God due to my past sins and transgressions?

Keep in mind that I was deeply anti-Christian for some time, especially anti-Catholic.

Is there anyway I can still become a Catholic?
Is there hope for me?

No matter how great your sins, God loves you and died for you — even if no one else ever lived, He still would have taken all the torture just to give you the opportunity to be with Him forever! Just fall at His feet and thank Jesus, because His love is forever. and Yes, you can still become a Catholic! Please do! We would love to have you.

You will most likely have to take a program called RCIA to be received into the Catholic Church. When you are received you can make a formal Confession, but in the mean time, God will forgive your sins directly when you go to Him with a fully contrite heart. Perfect contrition means having an unreserved repentance and sorrow for having offended God and can bring about full pardon for offenses. Remember, you are God's own child and he loves you.

• Do you think he wants you to stay separated from Him?

He is already leading you toward full communion with Him, on the way he will give you everything you need to be safe and in His Care. He wouldn't lead you on just to let you down.

Confession is an awesome gift because Jesus authorized his Apostles to forgive in His Name,
(cf. John 20:21-23), so even sins that don't have perfect contrition, (in other words, we haven't perfectly rejected them) are forgiven by Jesus' Word. When I go to Confession I have Jesus' own Word that those sins are behind me. That is the best peace of mind a person can ever ask for.

That's all I have time for today Jason but keep following the Lord.
He is going to lead you to perfect joy and everlasting fulfillment.

God bless you,