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Anonymous wrote:

Hi, guys —

I am a 29-year-old woman who was married last January under unusual circumstances.

He was an Irish citizen here on a visa. We married in a civil ceremony because his visa was going to expire. We had talked for a long time about marriage and were confident we would be together forever. We wanted to live here in the US and knew the easiest way for us to legally be together was to marry before he left so he could return to America as my husband.

Because of this, we didn't have time to do marry in the Church, in addition to the fact that he is not Catholic. It has been more than a year later and he has secured his green card. We are madly in love with each other but I am concerned that we weren't married in the Church.

I am Catholic, attend Mass weekly, and have had all my other sacraments. I know the Church doesn't consider my marriage as legitimate and I am unsure what to do.

  • Can there be some sort of blessing we can apply for, despite my husband being of a different faith?

Our relationship is ideal except for this one thing that keeps me up at night. Please help me. I'm not sure what I can do and I am terrified of being in sin.

Thank you in advance for any advice you can provide.

Anonymous

  { Given this visa background, can we apply for some blessing though my husband is not Catholic? }

Eric replied:

Hi, Anonymous —

What you need to do is go to your parish priest and ask for a convalidation — or just say have my marriage blessed if that's all you can remember. It will just require a brief, private exchange of vows with witnesses.

His being non-Catholic requires some additional paperwork but will not be a problem. If either of you:

  • had been married before
  • do not have an annulment, and
  • your spouse is still alive

that may prove to be a problem. The formerly married party would first have to get an annulment.

Since the Church doesn't recognize your marriage, you really should live as brother and sister until this is all taken care of but assuming no annulment is required, it should not take too long.

Eric

Fr. Jonathan replied:

Dear Anonymous —

She can also just have it done by a decree without a ceremony if that is best. Occasionally that is the better route if the other party does not want to do the validation.

This is called a radical sanation.

As Eric said, if there is no past marriage, this can be done pretty simply. Go see a priest.

Hope this helps,

Fr. Jonathan
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