Dear Stephen,

The faith is not a club that one leaves for a while and then rejoins. It is:

• the ark of salvation
• the Church in which subsists the fullness of truth
• the only one that carries the words and deeds of Christ throughout time as He wished, in His teachings and sacraments.

If you foreswear your faith, deny your baptismal and confirmation promises, and accept heresy, out of supposed love for your girlfriend (who doesn't seem to love you enough to honor your conscience), then you will be committing a grave sin and one can only pray that God will give you the grace and light to return. The odds that you would return, in such a mixed marriage, and with children at stake, are very low.

The Methodist church is not a happy medium between the Baptist and Catholic faiths, just a bit more English in origin. Research the Methodist faith in the Catholic Encyclopedia. If one ever were to leave the Catholic faith, it should only be out of true conscience, that is, that you truly believe in another faith and, even then, the conscience would be one that is not informed, or ignorant. God has given you the light of faith and the power to believe. You must not know your faith. You must be thinking of it as a way to be at church rather than being the True, Sacramental Church. In the Methodist church you will not have or be able to receive the Eucharist.

Many Baptists are anti-Catholic because they have mistaken notions of Catholic belief. I think you should ask your girlfriend to at least read the Catechism to see what Catholics really believe, in order to help get over her aversion to the faith.

Encourage her to consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to learn everything we believe as Catholics.

Mary Ann

Stephen,

You are in a difficult spot! I wish, for your sake, these matters were considered earlier in your relationship, but it is, what it is.

You must love God above all things, including your wife. You cannot put your relationship with your girlfriend above your relationship with Christ. If you love your Catholic faith and believe it to be true, do not abandon it. And make no mistake: No compromise is possible between the Baptist faith and the Catholic faith.

You see, Protestants have this idea that we're all just Christians, and all the different denominations are just different ways of worshiping or different philosophies but there is no substantial difference between them.

This is not what we believe; we profess to be Christians like them, but we believe the Catholic Church alone possesses the fullness of truth, and you must be in union with the Church to be saved (if you know it is the Church founded by Christ). Thus your girlfriend, because she is Protestant, thinks that you can just become Methodist as if your two faiths can be averaged.

It's as if you believe 2+2=4, and she believes 2+2=6, and is proposing you both accept that 2+2=5 as a compromise.

It doesn't work that way.

Here's what I would do. Don't make any decisions about conversion right now. Get married in the Catholic church and you remain Catholic and she can remain Baptist (for now).

In order to get married in the Church, you will need to agree to raise the children Catholic, and she will need to agree to allow you to do this. (You will also have to agree not to use contraception, but that's a different point.) Meanwhile, work on her, primarily through prayer but also communication, to open her up to studying the Catholic faith. Invite her to explore. We can give you resources for her. Perhaps in time she will convert; perhaps it will take many years.

Either way, this is an issue you must remain firm on; you cannot abandon the Catholic faith, especially if you believe it to be true, otherwise your salvation is in jeopardy.

Eric