Hi, Alice —

Thanks for your question.

The simple answer to your question is Yes!

That said, I can't see why your husband would not want to participate in one of the most important decisions of your life: joining the Church and receiving all the appropriate sacraments. It makes no sense.

Nevertheless, we have to remember what Our Lord said about marriage.

30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in Heaven.

(Matthew 22:30)

In Heaven, there will be no marriage. Marriage is a covenant between two people: a man and a woman. It's life-giving between them, permanent, and life-long.

As a Catholic, you are not responsible for your husband's choices. The only thing you would be responsible for, is informing him once that each Sunday is a Holy Day of Obligation and that knowingly missing Mass is a mortal sin.

Belong that, it's his responsibility. In the Church we have six annual Holy Days and one weekly Holy Day.

I'm sorry that your husband somehow got turned off on the faith. Many times this is due to pushy family members: a father or mother, who think their post-21 year old baby is an extension of their free will. I'm sorry, they aren't.

I'm an uncle; a religious uncle. One of the toughest things I have to do when I visit my brother and his family (4 kids); is respect the parents [and/or] [niece/nephew's] free will to make dumb decisions: like blowing off a Holy Day of Obligation. That said, I can still be a faithful witness or example for them.

Going back to your husband, you can be the example for him too! You can be a witness for him that, with time, will make him want to come back to regular Mass attendance. Find a ministry in the Church he can get involved with, and like!

The way I have explained it to my niece and nephews is to think of Sunday Mass like a gas station.

Cars need gas, oil, good tires, and more, to run correctly for that week. If they don't get the gas, the car will sooner or later come to a stop. If someone doesn't have the guidance of the Church Jesus founded on St. Peter and his successors on what to do, they could put:

• oil in the window wash container
• water in the gas tank, and
• gas where the oil should go.

and later ask:

• Why isn't my car working?

Following the teachings of the Church ensures, we, the car, work : ) It allows us to see clearly that week and helps us to make clear-eyed decisions on important life issues. This allows us to fulfill the specific purpose for which we were made for in life.

I want to welcome you and your journey into the faith.

I used to run a free program that sent Catechisms to seeking Protestants and non-Christians but I no longer have the financial or operational means to do this anymore. Nevertheless, if you wish to go deeper, consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to learn everything we believe as Catholics.

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Take care,

Mike

Hi, Alice —

Just to add to Mike's answer.

This is an opportunity for you to lovingly share what God is doing in your life with your husband.
If your husband is not practicing and hasn't been since he was 18, I would imagine, he was never evangelized properly in the first place.

Your entrance into the Church surely may give you an opportunity to share your faith in Christ with him. It doesn't mean you need to hit him over the head with a Bible or a Catechism. It means that you give him your reasons for believing what you believe. Your husband has never met Jesus Christ, otherwise he would be a practicing Christian of some kind. This is your opportunity to introduce your husband to the Lord. This may take time. There is no formula that works, but since you will have to do some studying yourself to enter the Church, you can share what you are learning.

For instance, if one night the topic at your RCIA session is the Mercy of God, then when you go home (or the next day) ask your husband about what he was taught on the subject so you can compare it to what you just learned. That's the ice breaker. In the mean time, you will be sharing about God's unconditional love and mercy. The Holy Spirit will lead you. More importantly, anytime you share the Gospel in love, the Holy Spirit will be knocking at your husband's heart.

Nevertheless, don't over do it. A little bit at a time. Spend a few minutes, then drop it unless he wants to continue. Move on to another conversation, then in a week or two bring up something else. Don't clobber him, love him with it and soon enough, he may start asking you questions.

I think you may find this approach a bit more productive then trying to inform of what the regulations of the Church are; regulations he's already rejected. Sure he is supposed to go to Church, but the reason he isn't going is because he doesn't believe.

So while I agree with my colleague Mike, your husband needs to be catechized. That can only happen after he's been evangelized.

He has to accept God's mercy before he can ever understand the need to worship on Sundays.

John