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Anonymous Alex
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
My current wife of 13 years and I are not
Catholic. In fact, until fairly recently,
we did not practice any religion, and certainly
did not attend any church.
We were married in a Methodist church and
were both baptized as youths in Protestant
churches.
I have another prior marriage that was in
a Protestant church. These churches have no
prohibition against divorce and remarriage,
except that the divorce is final in the eyes
of the State.
We both now wish to join the Church, but are
being told that there may be some issues with
me being married prior to her.
I am very confused as to how we could be placed
in a second class citizen-type situation if the prior non-Catholic marriage
was not annulled.
- If I was not taught that
divorce and remarriage was not an option in
these churches, how I can be held to that
standard later for a prior decision?
In my
first marriage, the until death do us
part concept is interpreted, not a physical
death, but rather a death of the relationship.
In the second instance, there was not that
aspect of the ceremony at all.
I am not questioning the right of the Church
to make any rules it wishes: I just want to
make sure I have been told the right thing,
and if so, try to wrap my head around the
reasoning.
Thank you for your help in advance.
Alex
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Why
are we, a couple who want to join the Church,
being treated like 'second class citizens'? }
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Paul
replied:
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Dear Alex,
The Church isn't treating you as
a second class citizen, but just
the opposite. She recognizes your
dignity as God's child and the dignity
of your decisions in creating, what
you had once seen as,
a marriage. The Church is staying
true to the words of Jesus that all
valid marriages are permanent by
nature — even those outside
of the Church.
So in respecting you and your relationships,
the Church seeks to uncover whether
or not this marriage was a real one;
not necessarily a sacramental one
but a valid one. Proper and free
consent before an established legal
figure where there are no impediments,
is all that is needed for the Church
to recognize the marriage of non-Catholics
as valid.
If what you say is true: that your consent
was a conditional one, rather than
a consent to life-long permanence,
then chances are, an annulment will
be granted.
The Church must be as careful as
possible not to officially sanction,
what would objectively be, bigamy,
when someone is
really married then marries another
in the Church.
Paul
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John
replied:
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Dear Alex,
Thanks for the question.
It is wonderful that the Holy Spirit
is working in you and that you are seeking
to become a Catholic.
The Church starts with the presumption
that all marriages between two Christians
are valid and therefore requires any
couple, where either or both members
are in a second marriage, to go through
the annulment process prior to entering
the Church.
While annulments are not guaranteed,
they are granted for a variety of
reasons, provided the reasons deal
with an impediment that existed prior
to the marriage taking place. I'm not
a canon lawyer, nor am I in the position
to say you are eligible. However,
for marriage to be valid and sacramental,
both parties need to understand the
nature of marriage and that until
death do us part means until
one of the parties physically dies.
If that condition is not present or
if either party enters the marriage
thinking it's a temporary arrangement
which can be dissolved, then there
would appear to be a reason for an
annulment to be granted.
Were I in your situation, I would talk
to my local priest; he can direct
you to the diocesan office that takes
care of annulments. The process does
take about a year. In the meantime,
you can probably both start a RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for
Adults) program which will be necessary
before both of you can be received
into the Church.
RCIA is a faith formation program
where you will be:
- instructed in the teachings
of the Catholic faith
- introduced to the Catholic life, and
- enter the Catholic community,
especially at the parish level.
John
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