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Tom O. wrote:

Hi, guys —

I was born a Protestant, then became a non-doctrinal Monotheist that wasn't concerned about Christianity anymore. Twenty years later, I married a Jewish woman with two children. I agreed to allow her to continue raising her children in Judaism, as well as any child we might have together.

She is now pregnant.  Over time, I have found myself attracted to Catholicism and am beginning to contemplate on Christ once more.

  • If I decide to convert to Catholicism, would I be required to raise my children Catholic?

That would violate both my marital promise and the belief system of my wife. She would support my personal decision to convert but wouldn't let me bring our children up Catholic.

  • Does this mean that the Catholic Church would block my conversion?

Tom

  { Can I become a Catholic if I have agreed with my wife to allow her to raise our children Jewish? }

Eric replied:

Hi, Tom —

I don't believe you would be required to raise your children Catholic because your marriage is considered valid, and such a promise is only extracted upon marriage. This is assuming neither one of you were previously married to someone else still living.

If you need to get married in the Church, I'm not sure what the solution is.

I would consult your local priest.

Eric

Mary Ann replied:

Tom —

No, the Church would certainly allow you to convert.

The agreement that spouses are asked to make (by the Church) is at the time of marriage; when the parties are already married; the question is moot.

Mary Ann

Mike replied:

<Scratching my head.>

Hi, Mary Ann —

So Tom could become a Catholic yet, because of his promise to raise the children Jewish when he was married, he would not be able to raise the children Catholic?

  • Is this right?

Mike

Mary Ann replied:

Hi, Mike —

No, we didn't say that. It has nothing to do with his promise to his wife. It has to do with the fact that he is already married.

The Church makes the promise a condition of marriage, not a condition of conversion.

Mary Ann

Eric replied:

Mike,

I don't think Mary Ann is arguing he has to raise them Jewish. I think she (and I) are arguing that he is not canonically obliged to raise them Catholic.

The promise he made, as far as I could tell, is that he allow his wife to raise the children Jewish. This is not the same as promising himself to raise them Jewish.

Anyway, there are a few open questions. For example:

  • Is any promise binding that involves promising to allow children to be raised in error?
  • In other words, is he morally obligated to fulfill his promise to allow his wife to raise the children Catholic?

I'm pretty sure the answer is no, in the sense that he would commit no inherent sin in raising the children Catholic.

  • But the next question is, would it be prudent to do so?

This is not a moral question but a practical one. If it would destroy the marriage, it may be better off not interfering with the way they are raised. The final question is:

  • Would he sin in not forcibly raising them Catholic?

I'm not sure of this one, but under the circumstances, I'm not sure the answer is yes. But again, this is really a question for a priest who can go over all the details with them.

Eric

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