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Tom O.
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
I was born a Protestant, then became a non-doctrinal
Monotheist that wasn't concerned about Christianity
anymore. Twenty years later, I married a Jewish
woman with two children. I agreed to allow
her to continue raising her children in Judaism,
as well as any child we might have together.
She is now pregnant. Over time, I have
found myself attracted to Catholicism and
am beginning to contemplate on Christ once
more.
- If I decide to convert to Catholicism,
would I be required to raise my children
Catholic?
That would violate both my marital promise
and the belief system of my wife. She would
support my personal decision to convert but
wouldn't let me bring our children up Catholic.
- Does this mean that the Catholic Church
would block my conversion?
Tom
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{
Can I become a Catholic if I have agreed with my wife to allow her to raise our children Jewish? }
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Eric
replied:
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Hi, Tom —
I don't believe you would be required
to raise your children Catholic because
your marriage is considered valid,
and such a promise is only extracted
upon marriage. This is assuming neither
one of you were previously married to
someone else still living.
If you need to get married in the
Church, I'm not sure what the solution
is.
I would consult your local priest.
Eric
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Mary
Ann replied:
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Tom —
No, the Church would certainly allow
you to convert.
The agreement that spouses are asked
to make (by the Church) is at the time
of marriage; when the parties are
already married; the question
is moot.
Mary Ann
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Mike
replied:
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<Scratching my head.>
Hi, Mary Ann —
So Tom could become a Catholic yet, because of his promise to raise the
children Jewish when he was married,
he would not be able to raise the
children Catholic?
Mike
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Mary
Ann replied:
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Hi, Mike —
No, we didn't say that. It has nothing
to do with his promise to his wife.
It has to do with the fact that he
is already married.
The Church makes the promise a condition
of marriage, not a condition of conversion.
Mary Ann
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Eric
replied:
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Mike,
I don't think Mary Ann is arguing
he has to raise them Jewish. I think
she (and I) are arguing that he is
not canonically obliged to raise
them Catholic.
The promise he made, as far as I
could tell, is that he allow his
wife to raise the children Jewish.
This is not the same as promising
himself to raise them Jewish.
Anyway, there are a few open questions.
For example:
- Is any promise binding that involves
promising to allow children to
be raised in error?
- In other words, is he morally
obligated to fulfill his promise
to allow his wife to raise the
children Catholic?
I'm pretty sure the answer is no,
in the sense that he would commit
no inherent sin in raising the children
Catholic.
- But the next question is,
would it be prudent to do so?
This
is not a moral question but a practical
one. If it would destroy the marriage,
it may be better off not interfering
with the way they are raised. The final question is:
- Would
he sin in not forcibly raising
them Catholic?
I'm not sure of this one, but under
the circumstances, I'm not sure the
answer is yes. But again, this is
really a question for a priest who
can go over all the details with them.
Eric
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