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Todd
Pullen
wrote:
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Good Day,
I am an Episcopalian who is interested in
converting to the Catholic Church. I went
to the local Cathedral to arrange this, but
ran into some challenges.
My wife (a Catholic)
has been married to me for four and a half
years, and we are very happy together. However,
this is my third marriage, so the Cathedral
wanted me to try to track down where my two
ex-wives are now living, and provide them
with their names, addresses, and phone numbers
before they consider me as a candidate for
membership.
This creates quite a problem for me since:
- I do not know where they are, and
- they would not be happy to hear from
me after all these years, even if I could
somehow locate them.
The first marriage was twenty-five years ago,
and the second was a very brief marriage;
obviously a mistake. (We all make them.)
On the one hand, I would like to convert to
Catholicism, especially since:
- I was raised in a Catholic Elementary
and High School
- serve as a Lay Reader in the Episcopal
Church, and
- am married to a Catholic.
On the other hand, it seems the Church is
rejecting me unless I hire a private investigator
to track down two women who are not at all
interested in my conversion. This would only
serve to open old wounds, and would not help
me or them in any way.
- Is this the only way I can be accepted
into your Church?
To be honest, this does not sound very Christ-like
to me. Your response is greatly anticipated
by both my wife and myself.
Todd and Hazel Pullen
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Is this the only way I can be accepted as a Catholic–by tracking down information on my ex-wives? }
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John
replied:
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Todd,
It's wonderful that the Holy Spirit
is calling you into full unity with
Catholic Church. Unfortunately, your
situation is complicated. You are
still presumed to be married validly
to your first wife until a determination
can be made with respect to your
first marriage. If a declaration
of nullity is granted, the same determination
process would have to be discerned
for your second marriage and you
would have to receive the same declaration
of nullity for your second marriage.
That's why the Church is asking you
to find your two ex-wives. It is
sometimes possible to get annulments
without the consent or cooperation
of a spouse, but it's a lot easier
if you can provide the requested
information.
As to your question:
In deed it is. Let's look at exactly
what He said about it:
7 For
this reason a man shall leave
his father and mother and be joined
to his wife, 8 and
the two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but
one flesh. 9 What
therefore God has joined together,
let not man put asunder." 10 And
in the house the disciples asked
him again about this matter. 11 And
he said to them, "Whoever
divorces his wife and marries
another, commits adultery against
her; 12 and
if she divorces her husband and
marries another, she commits adultery."
(Mark 10:7-12 RSV-CE)
So actually Todd, the Church does
it's best to extend mercy and grace.
It looks at these cases and if there
is a reasonable pre-existing impediment that could allow the Church to declare
the marriage invalid, she grants
an annulment.
As an Anglican, you will have to
go through a period of RCIA. (Rite
of Christian Initiation for Adults.)
As a baptized Christian, it should
only take one season. The classes
don't start until September and run
until Easter, with the candidates
being confirmed and received into
the Church at the Easter Vigil. The
earliest you could be received into
the Church would be the Easter of
2012. If you start the process for
your annulments now, you might get
lucky and be able to time this just
right. Trust me, the Church is not
going to put thumb screws to you.
Sure, they want you to make a good
faith effort to find your wives but
keep talking to the parish priest
and keep going to Mass. Make your
presence known to the parish priest
so he will see that you really want
this.
Your wife should also speak to the
priest about her situation. At this
point, there are restrictions on
her as well with respect to receiving
the sacraments. It would best if
she discussed them in a pastoral
setting.
If we can help you with any doctrinal
question you might have with respect
to converting from Anglicanism to
Catholicism, we would be more then
happy to help.
God Bless,
John DiMascio
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Mary
Ann replied:
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Todd —
The Church simply wants to be sure
your present union is a valid marriage.
it is best to give the previous spouses
an opportunity to speak about the
union, for you, especially.
If you
cannot locate them with a reasonable
effort, then the Church will simply
interview you about the unions.
It is not conversion, per se, that
requires a declaration of nullity,
but full reception of the sacraments
while living conjugally with your
present spouse.
Mary Ann
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