Hi, guys —

I am ashamed to say, my husband and I have had a history of arguments that become physically violent. He has been emotionally and verbally abusive and has admitted so, and at times this has also escalated into physical violence. The past couple years have significantly improved but we recently had an argument where he was verbally and mildly physically abusive. I made a point to not contribute but a day or so later in a fit of anger he was verbally abusive again. I left but when I came back, he began again and cornered me. At this point I did not back down. I’m ashamed to say I certainly fought back physically and verbally as well. I can’t say with 100% certainty who became physically violent first. It is difficult for me to determine if I may have committed a mortal sin. I am rather new to the Catholic faith. I have only been to Confession once. I know that initially during the fight, I was only acting out of a place of feeling hurt/sad. But it certainly turned into anger. And at that point I may have wanted to hurt him in the same way he was hurting me. I know this is terrible. He has agreed to go to marriage counseling with me.

• In the meantime, I’m simply trying to determine if I need to go to Confession for my side of what took place.
• My secondary question would be, if so, how specific do I need to be?

Of course I am ashamed about all of this.

• Is “acting and speaking out of anger” enough?
• Or, do I need to include more details?

Thank you,

Ali