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Hi, guys —
I'm going out with a guy (a cousin of mine) who goes to therapy, to let him speak. It's very tiring because he has certain behaviors due to his need to heal but I need to pity him.
Saturday, my friends invited me to go to a place to eat and feast, and I need to do this because I'm tired, since my lifestyle is a bit tiring too. However, they don't want him, so that day I can't go out with him, and I have to tell him that I can't because I'm not home, without specifying where I'm going, not to offend him.
Unfortunately, they don't get along, and the place isn't mine, so I cannot invite him.
Ignazio |
Bob replied:
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Ignazio,
Thanks for the question.
When trying to determine whether something crosses the line to becoming a lie you must ask whether you told him anything that was untrue. Withholding information is not a lie, unless that person has a need for that information and you are preventing them from exercising their responsibility. You are not responsible to give out all the specifics; nor are you responsible for his entertainment, nor his social life. He must learn to make his own way in the world, but it is admirable that you are trying to assist him. If you can have a discussion with him about your other friends who don’t want to include him, do so, and he may have to learn to process the unpleasant information. If you feel that conversation is better left unsaid, then you don’t need to.
The main point is you are trying to help him and to be sensitive to him. Honesty will be helpful to him in the long run, but you are not sinning in the meantime.
Peace,
Bob Kirby |
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