Christina,
Be at peace, Christ loves you and will forgive you for your very roundabout way of coming home. That fact remains you are coming home and the next big step is going to Confession (tell it all) and reconcile everything. Your sin was likely in ignorance and our Lord won’t hold it against you when you come back fully. Your children can still learn from you; be a witness. Learn as much as you can about the differences between Catholic and Protestant theology, the apologetics for the main dogmas, and then you can have an intelligent conversation with children who may be old enough now to understand the issues. I’m assuming that they are at least teenagers. If they are little you could get them redirected more easily.
The main thing is to forgive yourself. Satan will take any mistake we make and have us beat ourselves up indefinitely, so we stay mired in guilt, shame, and never get to sharing the light. Share the light. Confession frees us to have the joy the Lord wants for you. There are plenty of fellow journeyers that know exactly your situation. Usually, God allows us these side trips for a reason. You'll be a better Catholic in the end, I have little doubt.
Welcome back, and God bless you.
Bob Kirby |