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I have a cousin who’s been divorced for years, met a woman about 10 years ago, and married her about 5 years ago. He applied for an annulment at that time and recently received a rejection from the Church.
This man is truly a man of God, loves his Church, received his Casio, and is always helping to bring people to the Church. After getting this rejection from the Church, being told he can’t receive Communion, and being told he is basically living in adultery:
How does he move forward in the Church?
He is thinking of leaving the Catholic Church because of the mistake he made, and he doesn't know how he can be accepted in the Church again without leaving his wife.
Donna Gramhome
{ After receiving a rejection letter from the Church, how does he move forward in the Church? }
Navigating the complexities of divorce, remarriage, and faith within the Catholic Church can be deeply challenging, especially for someone who is devoted to their faith. The situation described involves several important aspects of Church teaching and pastoral care that can provide guidance for your cousin.
Understanding the Church's Teaching on Marriage and Annulment.
Indissolubility of Marriage: The Catholic Church teaches that a valid marriage is indissoluble, meaning that it cannot be dissolved by any human authority. This is rooted in the belief that marriage is a sacrament, a covenant that reflects the relationship between Christ and the Church. Therefore, if a marriage is deemed valid, the Church holds that it remains binding even if the couple separates or divorces. (1)
Annulment Process: An annulment is a declaration by the Church that a marriage was not valid from the beginning due to specific reasons (e.g., lack of consent, psychological incapacity). If your cousin's application for annulment was rejected, it indicates that the Church found the original marriage to be valid. This can be a painful realization, especially for someone who wishes to remarry. (1)
Living in a New Marriage.
Current Marriage and Adultery: The Church teaches that if a person who is divorced remarries without an annulment, they are considered to be in a state of adultery. This is a serious matter, as it affects one's ability to receive the sacraments, including Communion. (1) However, the Church also emphasizes the importance of compassion and understanding in these situations.
Pastoral Care: The Church encourages pastoral support for those in difficult situations, including divorced and remarried individuals. It is essential for your cousin to seek guidance from a priest or a spiritual director who can provide personalized support and help him navigate his feelings of guilt and confusion. The Church calls for respect, solidarity, and understanding towards those who find themselves in such circumstances. (1, 2)
Moving Forward in Faith.
Sacramental Life: While your cousin may currently be unable to receive Communion, he can still engage in other aspects of the sacramental life. Regular participation in the Sacrament of Reconciliation (Confession) is encouraged, as it offers healing and the grace of forgiveness. The Church teaches that God's mercy is always available, and individuals are invited to seek reconciliation with God. (3, 4)
Prayer and Spiritual Growth: Engaging in prayer, both personal and communal, can help your cousin deepen his relationship with God. The Church emphasizes the importance of prayer as a source of strength and guidance, especially during challenging times. (5) He may also find solace in reading Scripture and participating in parish activities that foster community and support.
Understanding God's Mercy: It is crucial for your cousin to remember that the Church is a community of sinners in need of God's grace. The teachings of Pope St. John Paul II highlight the importance of recognizing one's own shortcomings and the need for healing. This process involves:
self-examination
a willingness to forgive, and
the understanding that God’s mercy is always available. (6)
Consideration of Future Steps: If your cousin feels called to remain in his current marriage, he should consider how he can live out his faith authentically within that context. This may involve finding ways to contribute positively to his community and family life, while also seeking to grow spiritually.
Conclusion.
Your cousin's situation is undoubtedly complex and fraught with emotional and spiritual challenges. However, the Church offers a path of compassion, understanding, and support.
By engaging with pastoral resources, embracing prayer, and seeking reconciliation, he can find a way to move forward in his faith while remaining true to his commitment to God and the Church.
It is essential for him to know that he is not alone and that the Church is there to support him in his journey.
