Hi, Kim —
Although your marriage did not start
off as a mixed marriage, the problem
you have addressed in your e-mail
is a common one among mixed marriages.
Ultimately, you have to respect your
husband's free will to believe what
he wants, but at the same time, he
has to respect your free will to
believe what you want to believe.
If he is not willing to join
you for Sunday Mass at your Catholic
parish, why would he expect you
to join him at his church service?
Especially when it teaches
things you don't believe.
Do you think it is wise for a Catholic
married to a former Catholic, who
is now a (SDA) Seventh Day Adventist,
to attend the SDA church services
(Only for the purpose of trying to keep a marriage together.)
Let's go back to the basics of Our
Blessed Faith which Our Lord Jesus
left for us.
What are the two most powerful things
any practicing Catholic can do to
change the life of an individual,
family, and world for the good?
To live a
sacramental life, always in a
state of grace by going to frequent
Confession [Confession before
Holy Communion, if needed].
In the sacraments, we receive
special graces for our specific
state in life. These important
graces help us to live a more
holy and courageous life and witness
to Jesus, the Risen Lord.
- By praying,
especially the Rosary, for the
conversion of your husband back
to the Faith and making Holy Hours
if you have Adoration at your
Remember, when you attend someone
else's church services, you are implicitly
There is something in
his church, that is not in
the Catholic Church that
is meeting your spiritual
I don't believe this is the message
you want to send to him and his congregation.
this is what you would be saying.
It's your slow but steady witness
to him of the Catholic Faith that
will bring him back Kim! If done
correctly, overtime, he will say:
- Why is my wife always doing these
nice things for me?
- Why does she seem to enjoy her
faith so much?
- She appears to have a confident
faith, because she is never forcing
me to do anything
I don't wish to do.
I have attended
these functions occasionally and
have felt like an outsider.
These functions will be like many
Protestant Bible studies, probably
with many former, bitter Catholics
who are holding on to grudges — which
they won't let go off. I recommend
you don't attend these.
Tell him you want to attend only
functions that respect your Catholic
Faith! [The only Christian faith
that traces back to 33AD.]
If I don't attend
with him on Saturday, I really don't
have much of a life being alone most
of the time.
Talk to the pastor and priests at
your parish about getting involved
in ministries within the parish.
There are usually many to choose
from. Get involved in them! Make
new friends at the parish. Who knows,
there maybe another person in the
parish in a similar situation as
My short advice:
- Live a
sacramental life and
- pray daily!
Take care and keep in touch,