Hi Jean,
I know you probably don't want to hear this, but part of the answer is you have to accept his free will and his free choices.
From my experience, don't fall into the trap of sermonizing a son who
knows what you are going to say and probably doesn't want to hear it. It
will push him from you rather then pull him spiritually to a better place.
It is hard Jean, but the Lord is calling you and parents in similar
situations to follow the example of St. Monica.
Monica never gave up praying for her son St. Augustine and look what happened.
Augustine went from a youthful sinner who has been quoted as saying:
Give me chastity, but not yet.
to being a bishop and doctor of the Church. Today, there are many in the Church that refer to him as the Doctor of Grace, based on his theology.
A popular phrase attributed (by some) to St. Francis also comes in handy:
Preach to everyone, and when necessary, use words.
I remember Scott Hahn saying on one of his tapes: it's that slow and stead
witness:
- being kind
- doing charitable things out of love and for no other
reason, and
- helping and assisting people
that will turn your son toward listening
to you.
When people start saying,
She is such a nice person; she gets along with everyone and always
does nice things.
they will then start to say to themselves,
I want to be like that person. Let me learn more about that person
and what is important in her life.
The key: The
non-verbal witness has to come first.
When I run into situations like this, I ask the Lord (in my private prayers)
to send other people into the person's life who will show [him/her] what
I am trying to say in a manner in which [he/she] will understand it. Maybe
you could ask something similar for your son in your prayers.
Hope this helps,
Mike
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