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Melva
wrote:
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Hi guys,
My husband and I are expecting a child together. We are Catholic, but
have not been actively practicing the faith. We are in the process of having our marriage convalidated.
We have very recently joined a parish, but don't know all the guidelines.
I have a child from a previous marriage, and he has two children from
a previous relationship. With this pregnancy, that makes four and we
are in agreement that this family is at capacity to fit our budget and
household.
Before we started the convalidation process, there was no doubt in
our minds that I would undergo a tubal ligation, as I am scheduled
for a cesarean section and since I will already be in the operating
room, I thought it would it would be the right time for this
procedure.
I also have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) [a health problem that
can affect a woman's menstrual cycle, ability to have children, hormones,
heart, blood vessels, and appearance].
Because my cycles are not predictable
and sometimes non-existent, I don't feel that (NFP) Natural Family Planning
would work, since I am not regular.
- Is it totally unacceptable to have a tubal ligation?
Thank You for your time.
Melva
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Given my health problems and the number of children we have, is a tubal ligation still wrong? }
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John replied:
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Melva,
Thanks for your question, congratulations on your pregnancy, and welcome
back to the Church.
The issue here is not so much
any particular form of artificial contraception, but the contraceptive
mentality stemming from your approach to your personal circumstance. The
Church allows the use of Natural Family Planning, so that a couple may space their
children. In that process, the couple remains open to God's will.
What you seem to be telling us is that you categorically are unwilling
to let God be sovereign in you marriage and in the creation of lives. Therein lies the problem.
Tubal ligation, like all forms
of artificial contraception, are considered gravely sinful.
Regarding your cycles, the Church has no objection to the use of the pill
to regulate them, so long as that is the intention of their use. In other
words, the pill is not being used to contracept, but for other medical
purposes. The contraceptive side affect is not intended.
However in your case, you've made it abundantly clear that you
and your husband don't want more children and are considering surgery
to prevent pregnancy, hence, this can't be seen as a loophole through
which you can justify a contraceptive mentality.
My answer is not intended to be cruel, judgmental, or a condemnation.
I'm simply stating the objective truth taught by Holy Mother Church.
I'm sure your circumstances seem overwhelming. You are already blessed
with children and it is easy to understand why you might think you've
reached your limit. I would advise you both to pray for the faith only
God can give you so that you might trust Him to be sovereign in your marriage.
God always answers those kinds of prayers, as He always takes care of His
children.
John DiMascio
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Mary Ann replied:
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Dear Melva,
Congratulations on having your marriage convalidated, and congratulations
on your new child!
I gather that you have found out from this process one
truth:
That sterilization is an intrinsic moral evil, the evil of self-mutilation,
the destruction of a healthy function.
No, you may not have a tubal ligation,
nor may your husband have a vasectomy. Aside from the moral wrong, there
are spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical bad effects from both these
procedures. PCOS can be treated and there is a new natural way to do so.
Even though the tubal ligation would result in the cessation of your PCOS,
we may not do evil to achieve a good end. There is a method of (NFP) Natural
Family Planning that would work. Indeed, all of them should work because
none of them are dependent on regular cycles.
I would suggest you visit these sites:
You will find information and inspiration on all of them. You can also
get a referral to a doctor who practices NaProTechnology and
can teach the Creighton method of natural family planning.
You may find
your health becomes better than ever.
God luck and God's blessing.
— Mary Ann
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Bob replied:
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Dear Friend,
While your situation is a difficult one, the answer is not tubal ligation.
The Church never condones deliberate mutilation for the sake of obstructing
fertility. This may not be what you want to hear, but it is the truth.
Speaking from my own experience, I can attest to the fact that sometimes
doing the right thing is difficult and requires courage and sacrifice.
My wife and I could not conceive children naturally, and the only options
available to us (by medical science) are unacceptable by moral standards
that we hold as Catholics who want to remain faithful to our Church's teachings.
Then God stepped in . . .
We foster parented and then adopted an older child, who is now 15. It is clear in
my mind, now, that this sacrifice brought us to a quite wonderful but unexpected
place. I don't know if we would have adopted if the natural and medical options were
closed to us, but God certainly knew, and He has blessed us within our less than
perfect circumstances.
So, don't ask Why, but What.
- What is God calling you to?
He has something great in store for you; no sacrifice will go unnoticed
by our Heavenly Father.
I'll pray that you have the courage and strength to do the best and right
thing.
God bless,
Bob Kirby
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