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Dear friend,
This truly is a difficult situation, but here goes. The general guideline
is that in order for the act to be licit both the "unitive" and "procreative" elements
have to remain intact. (This does not mean that a clinically infertile
couple are disqualified, but only that they cannot deliberately frustrate
the procreative element by their own volition.) Sex is sacred, and not
merely mutual masturbation. That being said . . .
For the man . . .
In short, the man's seed is meant to be united with
its ultimate end, the woman's vagina. All manner of foreplay, manual and
oral stimulation, is not illicit unless it deliberately foils this greater
good. Therefore, orgasm can be achieved, by means of external stimulation
(manual, oral), but the sperm should not be impeded from its object. If
full penetration was too painful, partial (almost superficial) would suffice
for the ejaculation of the sperm into the vaginal opening. Sin only occurs
when the man ejaculates elsewhere deliberately.
For the woman . . .
A woman's orgasm involves no event that would inhibit it from happening
at any time in the sexual act. It creates no seed that can
be misdirected. As an interesting side note, according to biological science,
her orgasm is designed to aid reproduction, causing a reflex action of
the cervix which would dip into the deposited pool of sperm and assist
the sperm on it's way toward the egg. In essence, it helps make the
leap into the narrow path toward the egg. This, of course, is predicated
on the man having either previously, or at least simultaneously, deposited
the sperm at the cervix's opening.
Finally, there is no sin in her having
an orgasm, provided it is within the context of the complete
sex act. If she were to seek orgasms at random times just for her pleasure,
that would be a sin because it does not preserve the unitive and procreative
character of the act.
In the long run, there are ways for a woman to help alleviate the pain,
hormone therapy or even homeopathic remedies.
Consulting with your physician
on this matter might help.
God bless and good luck,
Bob Kirby
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