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Maryann Kluver wrote:

Hi, guys —

When I first met my husband, he told me he would convert and become Catholic (he was a Jehovah Witness), so we married in a civil ceremony - since we were moving to Texas after college and I did not want to move unless I was married.

He started RCIA classes and decided he was not interested in becoming a Catholic since he did not agree with the Church on certain teachings. He became a Mormon instead.

I was approached and asked to join their community yet:

  • Catholicism has been in my family for generations
  • is a way of life for me, and
  • I would not give it up.

Therefore, I raised my two sons Catholic which my husband agreed to. You cannot imagine my sadness in not being able to receive Communion.

  1. I cannot receive the sacraments
  2. he will never become a Catholic, and
  3. our marriage is not recognized in the Church.
  • Will this ever change?

Thank you,


  { Though married civilly, will I ever be able to receive Communion and get my marriage blessed? }

Eric replied:


I presume by saying civil ceremony you meant you married without permission from the Church.

If this is the case, then you are correct, you can neither receive Communion nor exercise your marital rights since you are technically having sex outside of marriage, as the Church doesn't recognize your marriage.

The way to fix this is simple:

  • Go to your parish priest, and tell him you want your marriage convalidated (blessed) and
  • Go to Confession for:
    • marrying outside the Church and
    • the de facto state of having sex outside of marriage.


Mary Ann replied:

Mary Ann,

You can certainly receive the sacraments, just as soon as you get your marriage blessed in the Church. Just talk to your local parish priest, and he will tell you how easy it is.

It is hard to imagine that you raised your sons Catholic and were never told that you could have your marriage convalidated, even though your husband didn't intend to convert.

Mary Ann

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