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Mark wrote:

Hi, guys —

I am a very well studied Catholic convert. I am married with two beautiful children and one on the way (we have taken NFP classes). We have come to the reality that it would be poor stewardship for my wife and I to create more children so I have scheduled a vasectomy. My question is:

  • If I have a vasectomy and I do not feel guilt for having one, should I leave the Church?

I am struggling with this. I do not want to be a contracepting, hypocrite (I know there are many filling the pews) but my decision has been made regarding the procedure.

  • Since I have found myself in a position where I am not of one mind with the Church, should I just leave?

I cannot confess guilt, therefore I cannot receive absolution. The only thing I can feel guilty about is not living up to the ideal of the faith. We have been open to life and my wife stays home with our children. Unlike many Catholics who disagree with Church teaching, I feel, if I have the procedure, I have become a Protestant by default.

  • Am I wrong?
  • Should I just go to Confession after the procedure and move along with my Catholic life?
  • Or should I leave, if I seriously feel that I am in disagreement with Church teaching?

Please pray for us!

Mark

  { If I have a vasectomy and I do not feel guilt for doing so, should I leave the Church? }

Mary Ann replied:

Hi, Mark —

We are not commanded to feel agreement with God's law, only to obey it. This is a case where obedience and trust in God would be called for. It is not the Catholic Church that teaches that sterilization would be wrong, but God (the 5th Commandment). We may not mutilate ourselves.

You said you know NFP . It is more effective than the pill, so it would be a good idea to try practicing it, assuming you have good reason not to have more children. You have some months before any decision is necessary, so spend this time praying for light and faith.

When you professed faith in the Church, you accepted her as the bearer of the teaching and works (sacraments) of Christ through time. You accepted the Church as divinely instituted and guided.

For that reason you can, in good faith, accept a teaching that you don't fully understand or emotionally like, because you know it is Christ teaching you.

Mary Ann
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