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Rachel
wrote:
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Hi, guys —
I have a question about Contrition.
I know I am in mortal sin and that scares
me because I know that it means if I die,
it could constitute an eternity in Hell, but
I haven't gone to Confession because I'm having
trouble feeling contrite for the sins I have committed.
I don't know what to do. I know if you are
not sorry for your sins and you confess them
then your Confession is invalid, but I don't
want to die with these mortal sins on my soul.
I don't feel sorry for what I've done; I feel
like I'm just lukewarm. I don't really care
either way and I don't know what to do nor
do I know why I am lukewarm.
I love studying Catholicism. I'm constantly
on Yahoo Answers and know all the answers.
I know what the Church teaches and I love
learning more about Church history. I love
the Mass. I hate not being able to receive
the Blessed Sacrament and yet, despite all
of this, when I think about my sins, it's like
nothing. I have no feeling whatsoever regarding
them.
This scares me even more because I'm not ignorant
of what I've done and I understand the gravity
of what I've done but I cannot seem to find
the contrition for my sins that I need in
order to receive absolution in Confession.
I'm also afraid of going to Confession and
being told, I've been absolved, when I'm not really
absolved, because of my lack of contrition.
Then if I received Christ unworthily in Holy
Communion, I bring judgment upon myself.
Nevertheless, I don't want to go the rest
of my life unable to receive Holy Communion.
- Can you help me?
- What should I do?
- Are there any novenas out there that include asking
for contrition?
Thanks,
Rachel
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What should I do if I am having a hard time being contrite for my mortal sins in Confession? }
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Eric
replied:
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Rachel,
Don't confuse contrition for feelings.
If you resolve not to commit these
acts again because you know they
are wrong and want to do what is
right, that is enough. Better yet,
you want to not do them again because
you love God, but first things
first.
Repentance is an act of the will.
It means to literally go back, i.e.,
reverse course. As long as you are
resolved to avoid these sins in the
future (even if you don't have hope
you'll give in, as long as you plan
to fight the temptation to do them) — you
can go to Confession and receive
absolution. Then God can work with
you and perhaps the feelings will
come later. Also explain the situation
to the priest, and he can make a
sure judgment about your contrition.
Do go, I encourage you.
Eric
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John
replied:
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Hi, Rachel —
Just to add to Eric's answer. Confession,
like the Eucharist is an encounter
with Christ. In such an encounter,
we can be transformed if we are open
to transformation. So whether your
contrition is weak, or you can't
bring yourself to want give the sin
up, you should still go and tell
the priest you're having trouble
resolving to avoid this sin. If he's
a good priest, he'll be able to advise
you and give you penance that will
help you.
There is a saying:
If you don't
want to change, ask God to give you
the desire to change.
The Sacrament of Confession gives
us the strength to change and also
the desire to change.
Let God decide, whether or not your
contrition or intention is sufficient.
He's in the business of redeeming
lives and changing them for the better.
He never turns anyone away who seeks
His help to live a holier life.
He never stops forgiving because
He can't stop loving unconditionally.
John
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Paul
replied:
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Rachel,
Ditto on Eric's advice.
Also, remember Confessions are valid
with the penitent having contrition
or attrition; which means either
appropriate love of God or fear of
God.
You said:
. . . that scares me
because I know that it means if I
die, it could constitute an eternity
in Hell.
That sounds like holy attrition to
me. It recognizes:
- God as God
- His
power, and
- the fact that He rewards
and punishes.
With attrition, as well
as contrition, there is faith. Consider
the old traditional Act of Contrition prayer:
I detest all my
sins because I dread the loss of
Heaven and the pains of Hell.
In
newer versions it states,
I detest all my
sins because of Your
just punishments.
This is
attrition, and it enables absolution
in the Confessional to be valid.
Also, from the little you wrote,
you may actually have contrition.
Your love for Jesus in the Eucharist
and your burning desire to receive
Him again displays a love of God
and a detestation of your sins for
keeping you from Him.
Either way, I would go to the sacrament
of Confession. If it seems appropriate
to you to explain your perceived
problem to the priest before stating
your sins, then certainly do it.
You may not fully appreciate the
gravity of how much sin offends God (as
none of us really do), but it
seems you do appreciate the gravity
of their results in your relationship
with God and His Church.
Peace,
Paul |
Mike
replied:
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Hi, Rachel —
You said:
I know I am in mortal sin and that scares
me because I know that it means if I die,
it could constitute an eternity in Hell, but
I haven't gone to Confession because I'm having
trouble feeling contrite for the sins I have committed.
First, I want to commend you for
your sensitive Christian conscience
and knowledge of the faith.
In addition to the fine comments
my colleagues have made, I'd also
recommend, to put your mind at
ease, looking into the Brown
Scapular. You can google for a
free one on-line.
Here is some relating the literature on the Brown Scapular:
Hope this helps,
Mike
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