Hi, Kristen —

Once someone is baptized, they are forever considered baptized. Therefore I believe your marriage would be sacramental. However, for safety's sake, you'll want to make the situation clear to your priest so that he can obtain the proper permission for a mixed marriage, just in case.

Eric

Kristen —

I would concur with Eric's answer on the sacramentality of the potential marriage, but might wonder about the quality of its sacramentality. In other words, the Church understands that the married couple confers the sacrament on each other, and renew it with each other throughout their marriage.

A sacrament confers grace. How much grace a committed atheist is open to receiving and giving (his or her) partner may be something to consider here. It might be a good idea to speak with your parish priest about this situation with, or without, your fiancé first, if you deem that appropriate.

Just a thought.

Paul

Hi, Kristen —

The marriage bond would be sacramental, but if one party were not in the state of grace, then that party would not be able to receive the graces of the sacrament.

Mary Ann

Kristen,

• Does your boyfriend love you enough to do the tough things?
• Why not confront him on this and let him know that you want to raise your family Catholic and you want him to step up to the plate and come back to the faith?

A family derives much of its moral leadership from the Dad, and you need a strong man to lead your family through, what will be, severe times. Going into the family business in this day and age is not for the weak. Rejecting God, who is the source of all goodness and strength, moral truth and courage, would not bode well for your family when it really gets tough. You need him to be that man for your children's sake. Don't back down until he agrees to rethink this.

I know this isn't probably what you want to hear, but as a dad myself, I know what you're in for.

Peace in Christ,

Bob Kirby

Hi, Kristen —

Just one more word from me, and we can also put this in the category of things you probably wouldn't want to hear. It's often said that money and sex are the biggest things that break up marriages.

My experience has seen that religious faith is. It is the foundation of the person and of a healthy marriage, and unfortunately this is often not recognized until years down the road. A couple having a substantially different faith life before children come, can result in inner loneliness and/or a motivation to remain stifled in your own faith life for the sake of peace within the marriage. After children come, it can cause much friction on how best to raise them. Because of our tainted nature due to original sin, children tend to gravitate toward the religiously weaker parent whose demands on them are less challenging to their own laziness and self-centeredness. This can be heartbreaking for the more faithful parent.

Regarding conversion, you may be right in saying there is not much else you can do other than your prayer and example. Time may be needed for the Spirit to work, but because of free will,
we don't know how someone will cooperate with the Spirit. Therefore, reason seems to indicate that if religious faith is a top priority for someone seeking a spouse for the indissoluble relationship of marriage then waiting for this to unfold may be worth it. In the mean time, chastity is very important.

Nobody wants to keep you from happiness, but rather preserve its potentiality for you by giving you considerations to think about so that you may rise above your present emotions and look at the bigger picture more objectively.

This is extremely important when making a life-long decision.

May God guide your mind and your heart.

Paul

Kristen,

I guess what it comes down to, is his consent to raise the children Catholic.

If he is okay with that, then you can marry in the Church. I wish you the best. He sounds like a good man; At some point, I hope he opens his heart to God.

Peace,

Bob K.