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Mike
wrote:
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Hello,
I am a Midwestern American Protestant, specifically Lutheran
Church — Missouri Synod.
I am currently
dating a devout Roman Catholic. We both respect
each other's faith very seriously, and often
have discussions on the differences in doctrine
between our churches. I attended a Jesuit
high school, and know a lot about:
- the
history of the Church
- doctrines of Protestant
churches and Catholicism, and
- many more
small details about religion, in general.
I am furthering my
education in Theology in order to become an
authority on Church history and controversial
doctrines. She is nowhere near as knowledgeable
as I am, in general, but she's studying her
Catechism closely in order to keep up in our
discussions.
I love her very much. I know that she is the
person God intends for me to marry, and I
know that she feels the same way about me.
I also know the rules of Catholicism regarding
interfaith marriages.
Here is my concern. Sometime in the future,
I will propose to her. Praying she says yes,
we will eventually find ourselves in front
of a clergyman, who will ask how our children
will be raised.
As
a devout Catholic, she needs them to be raised
Catholic. However, as a devout Lutheran,
I
have serious concerns, about specific
doctrines of the Catholic Church, some dealing
with certain little
t traditions.
Baptism in the Catholic faith, I am OK with.
A lot of the other little details of the religion
that my children will be taught, I am not
okay with all of them.
In conclusion, here are my questions:
- When
the priest asks if the children will be
raised Catholic, and I say No or Under
certain conditions, what will happen?
- If she fails to raise the children in the
Catholic faith, will she be excommunicated?
- Will the marriage not be allowed to occur
or be recognized in the Church?
I have thought about consenting, however I
feel that to withhold my beliefs, for my children's
sake, would be like living a lie.
Thank you,
Mike
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When the priest asks, 'Will you raise the
children Catholic?', what happens when I say 'No'? }
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Mary
Ann replied:
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Mike,
Here is another way to look at it.
Your wife's faith is different than
yours. Her Church says that it is
the Church Christ founded and that,
in it, subsists the fullness of truth.
Your denomination has changed its
beliefs since Luther, and continues
to change them.
She would violate her conscience,
were she to allow her children to
be raised in a faith she knows to
be false. If you love her, you would
not want her to violate her conscience.
If you believe that raising the children
Catholic will violate your conscience,
then you need to respect her conscience
and yours and not marry her.
If you
do want to marry her, you have to
agree not to interfere with her raising
them Catholic — you don't
have to promise to raise the children
Catholic, yourself, as used
to be the case.
So
pray and wait for the grace of the
Holy Spirit to lead you and give
you strength.
Mary Ann
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John
replied:
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Mike,
I'd like to add a few thoughts to
Mary Ann's. You seem like
a pretty intellectually honest guy.
You've studied but sometimes when
we study other people's faiths we
have to be careful what the sources
are for the information we are (gathering|learning
from). We also need to be aware that
we often speak different languages.
Our paradigms are different. We often
start out asking different questions
therefore our theological formulas
are structured to answer those questions.
For instance: traditionally post
Reformation communities, such as
yours, start with the question:
What
must I do to be saved? (Acts 16:28-31)
It's
not a bad question. It's the question
Luther asked and it's the question
the Philippian Jailor asked.
Catholics, on the other hand, start
with an entirely different question.
We start with the question Jesus
asked Peter:
Who do you say
that I am? (Matthew 16:15-19)
We spent the first
four centuries on that question. Salvation
is something we looked at later and
it was a corollary doctrine to our Christology,
which was, and is, central. We didn't
really ask what must we do to be
saved; rather we asked,
What is
salvation?
We answer that question based
on what we know about the Mystery
of being
in Christ. To
be honest,
we haven't fully
defined it. It's only a secondary
doctrine. Our approach is that we
ought to:
- concern ourselves with
worshiping God
- enter into the
Mysteries of the Incarnation and
Trinity, and
- unite ourselves
in a covenant relationship with
Christ.
We have several paradigms,
which seek to explain atonement and
the Mystery of Salvation. We've
defined what it is not. We can say
that we are saved by grace alone. We reject the formula faith alone but only because the term faith is used differently in different
circles.
I would encourage you to study your
fiancé's Catechism with
her. If you don't understand
something, ask us, before you assume
to know what it says. Again, we have
very different paradigms, so phrases
and terminology will throw you
off.
I say this as a former Protestant
Minister, who had to study this stuff
with little to no assistance from
priests. Thank God for Catholic lay
people who were willing to talk to
me.
You've got nothing to lose
and it can only give you more
insight into your fiancé's
faith.
John
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Mike
replied:
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Hi, Mike —
You said:
I am furthering my
education in Theology in order to become an
authority on Church history and controversial
doctrines.
While I admire and encourage you
to continue your studies into Church
history, if one is going to be a True Church historian, (he|she) will
go back to the writings
of the Early Church Fathers who lived from 100 A.D.
to 800 A.D., and find out what they
thought, taught, believed, and died for.
Historian Newt
Gingrich did and became a Catholic a year ago in 2009!
If you wish to go deeper, consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to learn everything we believe as Catholics.
There is no obligation on your part.
This is just a way for sincere-seeking Protestants
to answer the questions:
I wonder what those nutty
Catholics really believe?
and
I wonder how far apart we really are in our body of beliefs?
The choice is yours.
You and your fiancé will be
in my prayers.
Mike
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