Dear Farrukh,

This is a very sad and terrible situation. I'm sorry to hear this. To answer your question directly, the Catholic Church teaches this is the grave sin of adultery; and as you indicated, the baby is completely innocent of how he or she came into existence.

Abortion is objectively murder. If she is receiving Communion when she goes to church that would be a sacrilege.

How you handle this, as you experience the deep pain, should be the fruit of much prayer and prudence. Perhaps you might want to seek advice from 1.) the pastor of the church she goes to or 2.) the priest that celebrated your wedding. Your willingness to forgive and continue a normal conjugal life is admirable. Keep persevering according to your conscience. If you eventually find that seeking an annulment is what is needed, then contact the church you were married in.

Your wife is acting completely contrary to the Catholic Church and her teachings. Let's hope she comes back to reality and realizes this so that she may seek reconciliation with God, His Church, and you.

In the meantime, fight for the life of the child. In doing so, you may save an innocent life and win back the admiration of your wife because of your selfless attitude.

May God be with you and guide you.

Paul

Hi, Farrukh —

Thank you for your question:

First let my express my sympathy for your situation. From what you've said, your wife is not doing a very good job at being a practicing Catholic. I'd ask that you not judge our Catholic faith by her actions.

None of us is able to know or understand what is in her heart and why she is behaving like this.
As far as she is concerned, you should pray that she repents, goes to Confession, and changes the way she is living.

As for yourself, you need to decide how much pain you are willing to endure for the sake of the marriage.

It takes two to reconcile. She has to be willing to work at this marriage and be open to professional counseling, hopefully from a solid Catholic Christian. There is obviously something wrong in the marriage. It could be all her fault, but there could also be other issues she may not be entirely responsible for.

I'm not saying you're to blame for her adultery. Nevertheless, there was a break down in the marriage somewhere and that usually involves both husband and wife. Getting marriage counseling is probably a good first step. Of course, if she refuses, there is not much else for you to do. You can either remain in this marriage and put up with ongoing infidelity or you can leave.

John