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Linda T. wrote:

Hi, guys —

I have three questions.  I have tried to do research on both of these issues and am still coming up short.

The importance of confessing thoughts. To be more specific, I have a brother who refuses to let the family see his sons; this includes my parents who have not seen their grandchildren (their only grandchildren) for a year and a half.

I have had conversations in my head about these things. I would like to remind my brother he should not be doing this to our parents and that he is mistreating his children by keeping them from the family. During these conversations, I have called him some adjectives.

I would never actually use them to his face. These are thoughts that I keep to myself (particularly since he physically threatened me the last time we spoke).

  1. Do I need to confess these negative thoughts?
  2. On a different issue, wouldn't allowing priests to marry increase, not only the number of Catholics in general but, the number of men who choose to become priests?

Finally, I just finished reading Story of a Soul by St. Therese and noted that her father had originally wanted to be a monk but was denied entry into the monastery since he did not speak Latin. Her mother had wanted to serve with St. Vincent de Paul but was turned away since it was felt that she did not have a vocation. These two strongly religious people married and, of their five children that lived to adulthood, four became nuns.

  1. Doesn't it stand to reason that if priests (and nuns, for that matter) were allowed to marry (not that they have to, but that they would have the option to) that their offspring would also have a strong calling to the Church?

Thanking you in advance for your attention to my questions.

Linda

  { Should I confess these negative thoughts and wouldn't a married priesthood increase vocations? }

Mike replied:

Hi, Linda —

Thanks for the question.

RE: Your family situation and your thoughts.

Situations like yours are difficult to deal with. One thing that all family members have to accept is each other family member's free will to do dumb things, whether knowingly or unknowingly.

In difficult situations, like these, one has to prudently weight:

  • what has to be said, charitably, to a person
    versus
  • a prayerful silence for the sake of family unity.

I've heard of so many families who irrationally get into arguments with other family members over the smallest of issues and what they are losing out on is so important: family unity!; a family unity that should reflect the Trinitarian nature of God Himself: family members helping other family members.

You may reply: I've burnt the bridge! It's too late.

My reply: No it's not. If you pray with confidence and really want that family unity, it will come back over time, with one small, but important ingredient: humility.

Humility destroys the evil one in our life.

Pray that your brother will be open to allowing his sons to see their grandparents.  This assumes there is no good, logical reason why he shouldn't.

We all have these thoughts or conversations in our heads from time to time. Bring this issue and your situation to your confessor when you go to Confession next time. They are not sins, per se, but he will be able to guide you and give you good counsel.

You said:

  1. On a different issue, wouldn't allowing priests to marry increase, not only the number of Catholics in general but, the number of men who choose to become priests?
  2. Doesn't it stand to reason that if priests (and nuns, for that matter) were allowed to marry (not that they have to, but that they would have the option to) that their offspring would also have a strong calling to the Church?

It may, but the problem is: we can't merge two different vocations in hopes that a third type of vocation will fix the real problem:

  • a lack of proper catechesis and love for the Catholic Church in parish CCD classes and within family life.

The end result of merging two vocations would be that priests and nuns now have to care for two separate families: their physical, biological family and their spiritual family. This can bring on stresses for which the Lord never intended us to have.

Talk to any married Protestant Minister. They will tell you that the Roman rite would be crazy to adopt a married clergy disciple.

I think your question implies that since Catholic parents in the pew are either:

  • rejecting living a Catholic lifestyle, or
  • having a difficult time instilling the values and teachings of the Church into their children

that married clergy and religious, whether they are priests or nuns, as Catholic couples would do a better job.

I personally don't think so for the previous reasons I've given. (For example: What does a married priest do: celebrate the Mass and distribute Holy Communion or take care of his very sick wife, son, or daughter?) The resolution to this problem is raising faithful Catholic men and women and catechizing them faithfully. The fruit of a good, solid catechesis program with be big Catholic families having anywhere from 5 to yes, 12 children or more!

Vocations are unique callings that we discover with the help of the Lord over time.

One could be a:

  • father
  • mother, along with being a
    • nurse
    • teacher
    • nun or sister
    • brother or priest
    • doctor
    • scientist
    • Catholic apologist and/or evangelist, like us.
    • etc.


The unique vocations of a nun and a priest are vocations that are mainly geared to Christ and Her Church, respectively.

The nun's spouse being Christ; the priest's spouse mainly being Holy Mother Church — (some priests are married, but if their spouse dies, they cannot re-marry.)

Hope this helps.

Mike

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