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Dear Elizabeth,
Thanks for the question.
We receive questions that are very
similar to yours. Next time, you
may want to consider searching our
knowledge base.
You said:
- Is there a way
for me to marry him in a Catholic
Church without agreeing to raise
our children a certain way?
The Catholic party must commit to
raising the children Catholic, and
the non-Catholic party must promise
not to interfere for a valid, sacramental
marriage.
You said:
I plan on raising
my children to be good, honest, sincere
people, no matter what religion (if
any) is part of their lives.
Although this is a good intent, in
our secular world, which de-values
Christian morals:
- being good
- honest, and
- sincere
can vary from one individual to another.
This is called Moral Relativism.
In Moral Relativism, what is good
to you, may be different from my view of what is good.
(i.e. You may think killing a person, under
specific circumstances, for no
good reason is bad but under the
same circumstances, I may think killing
the person is good.) The end
result is that there is nothing that is objectively
good or objectively bad in life.
It is all dependent on the individual
and makes the individual, man or
woman, God.
Although our secular society tends
to de-value objective truths, they
still believe in them.
- If I get in my car to go shopping
and go through a red light, if
a police officer pulls me over,
can I tell him:
Hello, officer, is there a
problem? I decided that it
was OK for me to go through
that red light, so you don't
have to give me a ticket. Have
a nice day.
The only way to resolve this confusion
is to focus on the foundation for
all Truth, Jesus and the Church He
founded in 33 A.D., on St. Peter
and his successors.
- Have you studied what the Church
and Catholics believe?
If not, you can pick up a cheap
copy of the Catechism on-line.
We don't convert people, so the choice
is yours, but I think it is only
fair to find out what we really believe,
instead of hearing something from:
- an uncatechized Catholic, or
- Protestant who is making false claims about what we believe
If you and your boyfriend are seriously
talking about getting married, then
serious talks on how you plan to
raise your children should accompany
this. The children, you and your
future husband bring forth, represent
the fruit of your love for each other.
This love parallels the love Jesus
has for his Catholic Church, His
Bride.
Even if your boyfriend does
not take his faith as seriously as
the rest of his family, in the long
run, consummating a sacramental marriage in the Church
will ensure that you have a long
lasting, life-giving marriage. This
is the power of the sacramental life
of the Church Jesus established before
ascending into Heaven.
Make sure you read these postings
as well. I think they will help:
Hope this helps,
Mike
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