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Hi, Laetitia —
We are laymen, by the way, not priests,
but we'll be happy to answer your
question.
It is possible for a Catholic to
marry a non-Christian, if your husband
agrees to allow you to raise the
children Catholic, and with the permission
of the bishop (It's called an indult
of Disparity of cult.) In the U.S.,
this is routinely granted; I don't
know the situation in India.
However this is not particularly
advisable. A lot of conflict can
arise over religion, particularly
when a woman marries a Muslim husband,
who will want to wield a measure
of authority over her that may conflict
with her faith. Islam does not treat
wives well in marriages. Even if
your husband does treat you well,
and even if he agrees to allow you
to raise the children Catholic,
the children are going to be conflicted,
because they won't see their father
living out the Catholic faith. This
will have a powerfully negative effect
on your children's faith, especially
boys.
In addition, you won't be able to
share what should be the most important
thing in your life:
Your faith in Jesus Christ.
- Husband and wife are supposed
to give everything to one another
and relate on the most intimate
levels, but can you do that when
your religions are as radically
different as yours are?
If you must do this, be sure you
talk about all the religious stuff
ahead of time.
- Will he come to Mass with you
and the children?
- Will he allow you to raise the
children Catholic?
- Will he support Christian days
of fast and abstinence?
- And, conversely, will he expect
you to support Muslim fast days?
- Will he allow Christian religious
items like crucifixes in the home?
- Will you keep halal (no pork
etc.) in the home?
Remember half your family, and likely
much of your community, will be a
Muslim influence on your children.
Above all, I'd strongly, strongly
caution you to stay away, if he is
a devout Koran-reading, halal-keeping,
practicing Muslim, or if he tries
to pressure you into converting to
Islam. If you must do this, your
best bet is with a cultural or nominal
Muslim who doesn't take his faith
too seriously.
You should be aware that the Koran
forbids taking non-believers as friends:
(3:28: “Let
believers [Muslims] not take infidels
[non-Muslims] for friends and
allies instead of believers. Whoever
does this shall have no relationship
left with God—unless you
but guard yourselves against them,
taking precautions.”)
So he may well have designs to convert
you to Islam.
As you talk with him, you must also
know that Islam gives Muslims permission
to lie. It's called
Al-taqiyya. According to Imam Abul-Husain Muslim,
"Kitab
al-Birr wa's-Salat, Bab Tahrim al-Kidhb
wa Bayan al-Mubih Minhu,"
Sahih
Muslim, rev. ed., Abdul
Hamid Siddiqi, trans.
(New Delhi:
Kitab Bhavan, 2000)
Muhammad permitted Muslims
to lie:
- to reconcile two or more
quarreling parties
- to placate one's wife, and
- in war.
Here is an interesting story.
A poet,
Ka'b ibn Ashraf, offended Muhammad,
prompting the latter to exclaim,
“Who
will kill this man who has hurt God
and his prophet?”
A young Muslim
named Muhammad ibn Maslama volunteered
on condition that in order to get
close enough to Ka'b to assassinate
him, he be allowed to lie to the
poet. Muhammad agreed.
Ibn Maslama traveled to Ka'b
and began to denigrate Islam and
Muhammad. He carried on in this way
until his disaffection became so convincing
that Ka'b took him into his
confidence. Soon thereafter, Ibn
Maslama appeared with another Muslim
and, while Ka'b's guard was
down, killed him.
(Ibn Ishaq, The Life of Muhammad
(Karachi: Oxford University Press,
1997), pp. 367-8.) |
Muslims are even permitted to disavow
Islam and Mohammed if it is not a
genuine heart-felt rejection. Muslims
will tell you that concealment of
a truth is not an abandonment of
that truth if it benefits Islam.
See:
- Al
Taqiyya, Islamic Art of Deception
[January 7, 2014: Interestingly, the web address Eric gave for the above site has been taken down.]
- Al-Taqiyya/Dissimulation
Be sure you understand Islam before
you do this. I recommend the book:
I know Robert and he is very well
informed.
Eric
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