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Dear Confused,
You did the right thing for the right reason. Ask the Lord, in prayer, where He wants you to serve Him. It is a sad situation that many in our Church:
- don't know the faith, or
- if they know the faith, have repudiated and rejected it. or
- are scared to stand up for it.
Most of the time this is because many in our culture are addicted to same sex habits and would rather choose an unhealthy lifestyle, physically and spiritually, than change their behavior.
I'm sorry for the poor example of a pastor you had at your previous parish; it is sad when priests cave into the truth, mainly, for the desire to be liked. Certainly the Early Church Fathers didn't think this way; they would have died for traditional marriage between one man and one woman rather than accept homosexual activity.
The only thing I would have done, and you can still do this, is write a letter the bishop of diocese. This is proper because you have already talked with the pastor first and have gotten nowhere. After you write a letter, telling him the situation and your lack of progress with the pastor,
let it go.
You said:
I have lost Catholic friends over this issue because they think I am being judgmental.
This phony argument always drives me crazy. We all make judgments in life!
When driving in a car we have to discern a red light,from a green light, from a yellow light.
We have to make judgments of what color the traffic light is.
What we can't do is impute guilt. No one can judge (meaning impute guilt, or give reasons for why they behave as they do) except the Lord at our Particular Judgment. We can't get inside another person's head.
- Since you want what is best for your friends, spiritually and physically, what's wrong with telling them what you think is best for them?
Sure it's judgmental. It's your judgment of what is best for them.
The point is many times people purposely tie the two together:
- imputing guilt or giving reasons for why they behave as they do, with
- telling them what you think is best for them.
You have to separate them and tell them, in charity, what you think is best for them.
You can give them your opinion, but you can't shove your best advice down their throat; they have to freely choose it.
You said:
- Was I wrong in bringing this up?
No, you were not; I'd write a letter to the bishop and move on with your life.
You said:
- Do I owe these people an apology?
No, you don't; you owe them your prayers. They need them.
You said:
I joined another parish, but to be honest, the only thing that is keeping me Catholic right now is my belief in the Holy Eucharist and the sacrament of Reconciliation.
Bingo! Despite any scandalous examples or people we run into in the Church, both these sacraments mend and increase sanctifying grace in our souls. I've been hurt many times by immature pastors and priests, but I allow the Lord in the Sacrament of Confession and the Eucharist to heal me. Yes, sometimes the process can be slow but you will heal if you persevere and stay close to the sacraments.
Hope this helps,
Mike
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