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Gerry Harrelson wrote:

Hi, guys —

My Catholic daughter is engaged to an atheist, a very good young man, who comes from a good, well-rounded family.

  • Can I (as a Catholic) give her away in the Church, in the traditional manner?
  • Or, to put it another way, can they get married in the Church?

Gerry

  { Would the Church allow me to give my daughter in marriage to an atheist in a Catholic Church? }

Mike replied:

Hi, Gerry —

Thanks for the question.

You said:

  • Can I (as a Catholic) give her away in the Church, in the traditional manner?

The Catholic Church takes the faith and the sacrament of Marriage very seriously. When a couple is married in the Church they agree to make a commitment to the intentions or purposes of marriage:

  • permanence
  • children, and
  • fidelity

If a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, the non-Catholic has to agree not to interfere with their children being raised Catholic. Your daughter should make her fiancé aware of this. When we baptize our children in the Church we have to have a reasonable hope they will be raised as Catholics, otherwise the Church won't baptize them.

This is for their own good because we believe being Catholic is good for ourselves, our family and everyone; it is the Church Jesus founded. Because of this, it's the best faith for our salvation.

  • Do you know if your daughter's fiancé was ever baptized a Christian or as he raised an atheist?

Either way, she would still have to get a dispensation from the local bishop to marry him in the Church.

The short answer to your question is: Yes, with permission of the local bishop, but read the following postings; they should provide additional insights.

There is no need or requirement for your daughter's fiancé to convert to the faith; he just has to agree not to interfere with the fruit of your love for each other: your children, being raised Catholic.

Hope this answers your question.

Mike

Mary Ann replied:

Gerry —

Mike is correct.

I just want to add that while the Church cautions people about the difficulties of a mixed marriage, she does allow Catholics to marry atheists or unbaptized persons.

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage, (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic), often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1124) In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1086) This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church. (cf. Code of Canon Law, Canon 1125)

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task:

"For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband."

(cf. 1 Corinthians 7:14)

It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:16) Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

Marriage to an unbaptized person is a natural marriage only, not a sacramental marriage.

Mary Ann

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