|
Dear Anna,
I can add only few thoughts. I think your cousin John has the best advice. Why? Because a good priest that is faithful to the Church can get to understand:
- you, and
- the nuances of your situation
The key is finding a good priest that is truly faithful to the Church. A religious monastery is usually a good place to look.
You said:
I am excited about this! My problem is the public aspect of this quest is terrifyingly embarrassing to me.
- What would bring embarrassment over wanting to get closer to God?
- Why does the idea of fellowship feel repugnant?
- Why can't I tell my husband or kids about this?
So, my question is about this fear.
- Where does it come from and how can I conquer it?
Whenever we move from a known culture to an unknown culture, uncertainty and concern can arise. The same can be said if you have never talked to a priest, or been in a religious setting. Although you said you had never self-identified yourself as an atheist, the fact that others saw you as one, tells me a little something about the cultural environment you've been in. In my opinion, an atheistic culture is more independent and isolated whereas a Christian culture is more dependent and family-based.
That said, you shouldn't be concerned; the direction you are moving in has been guided by the Holy Spirit, with your cousin John helping you along the way. One of our most recent saints: Blessed Pope John Paul II was known for saying:
Be not afraid!
This is true for every Christian and non-Christian who is evaluating the Catholic Christian faith and finding it appealing.
There is another possible reason. Sin by its nature can be very embarrassing to admit to another person. It's natural to feel embarrassment or shame over past actions. That said, it is very important that you know that any sins you tell a priest in the Confessional are sealed, meaning the priest cannot mention it to anyone under pain of excommunication.
If you wish to go deeper, consider buying a cheap copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church to learn everything we believe as Catholics.
I hope this helps,
Mike
|
