Hi, guys —

My fiancé is new to our faith and at the moment is trying to understand chastity.

He understands not having sex before marriage, and rather begrudgingly accepts not fooling around before marriage. I know this is a fine-tuned matter of respecting each others dignity, even at the cost of denying ourselves, should our desires go against the other's dignity.

Nevertheless, he is having a hard time understanding why we can't sleep in the same bed, even if we aren't going to DO anything.

I've exhausted all my explanations.

• Do you have any thoughts that may help him understand that I am not holding my ground on this issue to inhibit our relationship, but rather to help it?
  

On a related topic, I understand the do's and don'ts on sexuality to be rather abstract as opposed to a clear cut list of yes's and no's; outside the big yes's and no's:

• no sex before marriage
  
• no fooling around before marriage
  
• yes, we can hold hands
  
• yes, we may chastely kiss
  
• etc.
  

My fiancé, on the other hand wants a clear list of yes's and no's. This is hard for me since I don't actually know where the line exactly is, and it especially concerns me because I know there is still a line even within marriage (for example, fellatio, anal sex, etc.) and he doesn't understand that.

Please help!

Emily