Hi, Kat —

You said:

• Is it wrong for a Catholic woman to marry a man who is pagan without the Church's consent?

Yes, it is wrong because we are talking about issues faith and eternal salvation.

In marriage, a husband gives all he can to his wife for her salvation and the wife gives all she can to his husband for his salvation.

I'm sure your pagan husband would appreciate your efforts of sanctifying him but what will he do for you if he doesn't even believe in basic Christianity?

Remember, Our Lord said there is no marriage in Heaven (Matthew 22:23-33) so in marriage we want to marry someone:

• we love, (in the sacrificial sense to the word love, not self-pleasuring sense) and who
  
• can help us get to Heaven.
  

For the spiritual good of the man and woman getting married and a long lasting marriage, the Church requires that Catholics marry in the Church. If you are also interested in having your children baptized, they can't be baptized without a good hope that you will raise them Catholic. Your spouse doesn't make any promises except to be a witness to you raising the kids Catholic and promising not to interfere.

• Why would you want to marry someone who doesn't even believe in the basic tenets of Christianity?
  
• Does he understand or appreciate the spiritual dynamite Catholic Christians have in the sacraments?
  

If you wish to proceed with a valid, sacramental marriage you would have to get a dispensation to marry a non-Christian from your local bishop. You should talk to your pastor to get the ball rolling.

Mike