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Dear J.P.,
Thanks for the question.
You said:
- Why can't she accept me for the way I am?
Because she accepts what her Protestant minister believes more than what you believe. Seeing your are the Catholic and her minister is obviously an uncatechized, former Catholic, I would
in charity ask her this question:
- Why do you attend a congregation that distorts my faith and the faith of other practicing Catholic Christians, especially when:
- your minister is not Catholic and
- has great misperceptions about what we believe as Catholics?
What we would say is what St. Pacian of Barcelona said in the fourth century:
(On the AskACatholic home page)
On the origin of the word Catholic
But, under the Apostles, you will say, No one was called a Catholic.
Grant this to have been the fact; or suppose it to have been so.
- When heresies, after the Apostles days, arose, and, under divers names, strove to tear and scatter piecemeal the dove of God, and His queen, did not the apostolic people require a peculiar name whereby to distinguish the unity of the people that had not been corrupted, for fear lest the error of a few might tear limb by limb the unstained virgin of God?
- Was it not beseeming that the principal head should be designated by a suitable title?
Suppose I entered, this very day, into a populous city, and found there Marcionites, Apollinarists, Cataphrygians, Novatians, and others of the same sort, all calling themselves Christians.
- By what name should I be able to recognize the congregation of my own people, were it not from its being called Catholic?
Come, tell me, you who bestowed so many names on the other peoples!
- Why have so many cities, so many nations, each their own description?
- The very man who calls in question the name Catholic, will he be ignorant of the cause of his own name, if I shall inquire its origin?
- Whence was it delivered to me?
Assuredly, that which has stood during so many ages was not borrowed from man.
This name Catholic sounds not of Marcion, nor of Apelles, nor of Montanus, nor does it take heretics as its authors. . . . . Christian is my name, but Catholic my surname. That names me, this describes me; by this I am approved; by that designated. And if at last we must give an account of the word Catholic, and express it, from the Greek, by a Latin interpretation, Catholic is everywhere one, or, as the more learned think, obedience in all the commandments of God. . . . Therefore he who is a Catholic, the same is obedient to what is right. He who is obedient, the same is a Christian, and thus the Catholic is a Christian.
Wherefore when our people are named Catholic, they are separated by this appellation from the [other] heretical names.
St. Pacian of Barcelona, (c.310-375 A.D.), bishop of Barcelona, Jerome praises his eloquence, learning, chastity, and holiness of life. |
And the Catechism tell us in CCC 830:
Besides meaning universal, the word Catholic means according to the totality. So the Catholic Christian faith is the Christian faith according to its totality; meaning practicing Catholic Christians don't pick and choose what they believe, like dissenting Catholics or Protestants do.
We believe everything because this is what Jesus revealed to us to believe.
Share with her what the Early Church thought here:
You said:
I am confused if my relationship with her is still a blessing from God. I keep praying to Him to bless us both. I love my girlfriend and she loves me as well.
You are in a tough situation for two reasons:
- because you have to respect her free will to believe in erroneous teachings about our faith, plus
- if the two of you, over time, are being drawn to marriage, in order to be married in the Catholic Church, you (J.P.) have to promise to raise the children of your love as Catholic to the best of your ability. She doesn't have to make any promises but she is a witness to your promise.
It's good to plan a one on one talk in the future with her if things get serious. We have received many questions from dating couples who have put off the issue (of how to raise their kids, faith-wise) to the very end, toward Pre-Cana classes. The Church would not recommend this.
Finally, I would discourage any Catholic Christian from going to other Protestant faith services.
When a Catholic attends another Protestant faith service or Bible Study, whether they are aware of it or not, they are publicly saying:
There is something in this Bible Study or Protestant service that is missing in my Catholic faith.
. . . and most of the time, attendees to these Protestant gatherings have misperceptions about many, many Catholic teachings.
While the Catholic catechesis at a given Catholic parish may be poor or the ministries may be lacking a lot, only the Catholic Church is the pillar and foundation of truth (1 Timothy 3:15) and remember, we have both:
- the menu (the Scriptures), and
- the meal (the Eucharist)
We will keep you in our prayers,
Mike
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