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Dear Dee,
I am sorry you had to go through that bad experience.
It is sad that some priests are not sensitive to the pastoral needs of their penitents. I also vaguely remember having a Confession similar to what you experienced where the Confessor basically concluded I was being too scrupulous.
If this is the case with you, you should consider finding a spiritual director who is faithful to the Church.
I don't think this type of behavior should necessarily be reported to the bishop but, for the good of the faithful, you may want to share your experience and how you felt with:
- a priest-associate
- the pastor, or
- a colleague of the Confessor who heard your Confession.
Hopefully, they would be willing to talk to him privately about your bad experience and suggest that he be more sensitive to your needs. The basic form for most Confessions is:
- Penitent: Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been (period of time) since my last Confession.
(Then list your sins and wait for any possible counsel.)
- Priest: Should ask you to say an Act of Contrition, but if not, he will give you a penance followed by absolution.
(It's not needed but if the Confessor doesn't tell you to say an Act of Contrition, say one privately after Confession.)
After the priest absolves you of your sins, no matter how insensitive the Confessor was during the Confession, you can go in peace, knowing all your sins have been forgiven.
When he says, I absolve you (of your sins.) Jesus is working through the priest to forgive your sins.
To struggling Catholics who have had a similar experience — my two cents:
We all are sinners and scandalize the Church with behavior inside and outside the Confessional. I think it was Jesus who said in front of the adulteress:
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. (John 8:7)
I hope this helps,
Mike
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