Farah,

Love is a matter of both the heart and head. You can't follow one without the other being onboard. This is a red flag, inasmuch as it could mean raising a non-practicing Catholic family. Even if he concedes to let you raise the children according to your faith, the children won't buy it once they are no longer compelled by mom to go to church or believe the faith. Seldom do households of this makeup turn out religious offspring. Look around at society.

• Do you see an improvement from our parents generation, or our grandparents, or great grandparents?

In the old days there were often arranged marriages, or ones more based on common values and culture. Then there was a radical shift, perhaps even a reaction or rebellion, but the sole criteria became romantic love, and seldom was the family involved in the selection of a mate. It simply changed all around.

So, take a lesson from history.

• Decide what your values are
  1. What kind of a home you want to create
  2. the values you want instilled in them, and

then find a man who has the same vision.

My guess is that there is a man, good enough to steal your heart. Just put it in the Lord's Hands.

In short:

• cut bait
• soothe your wounds and
• move on, and lastly
• don't get serious with anyone until your head gives your heart permission to say yes.

Peace,

Bob Kirby

Dear Farah,

This posting from our knowledge base may help:

• Should a divorced Catholic woman keep an affair with a former Catholic whose now an atheist?

Mike