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Suzanne Kellison wrote:

Hi, guys —

My partner and I are getting married May 2018. I am Catholic and he is not. He respects me and I respect him. I will admit, I am not a big Mass person but am a strong believer in God.

I'd like to have a church service without the Mass.

  • Is this possible?

Again, I respect that he is not Catholic so I feel that having a Mass is a bit much for him and his family.

Thanks in advance,


  { Because it would be too much for my fiancé and his family, can we get married without a Mass? }

Bob replied:


  • Do you want to live as a Catholic?

You can call yourself a believer, and that is good, but to be a Catholic means living that way.

Catholics believe Jesus founded a Church on the Apostles, with Peter as the rock, and this institution is perpetual and meant to guide every generation of Christians. Even with flawed personalities all along the way!

That said, the Church says you need to:

  • be married in the Church
  • be open to life
  • agree to raise your children as Catholics, and
  • let God bless your union.

Getting married outside the Church is not recognized as a legitimate or sacramental union, because God is totally sidelined. God invented marriage. He wants to bless it and be in it.

Do it right. Let your future husband know that your faith is important, and while you haven't been a big mass goer, you want to do more to make that happen. Even if he is not on board with going to church, you can be. You can be an example to him and bring more love into your home through the grace of God.

Finally, God is not a hobby. You will spend eternity with Him, and your husband too, if you let Him into your lives in a holistic way. Mind, body, and soul need to come together in this. Get your bodies into church and make a new beginning that will have everlasting consequences.

I'll be praying for you because you would not have written [or e-mailed us] if you didn't consider this important. So you know inside your own heart that God is knocking and wants to be front and center in this.

Answer the call and be at peace.

Bob Kirby

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