Intimate Isabelle wrote:

Hi, guys—

I am a Catholic who has been divorced for the past 28 years. I am 74 and have a 71-year-old boyfriend.

We have been keeping company for three years. I do not receive Holy Communion as my local priest says I cannot because we are sexually intimate. We cannot marry and we do not want to live together.

Other people say I can receive Communion as this is a relationship that is faithful and from love. (Other remarried Catholic couples have been told by their priests that they can receive Communion.) This causes me much distress as I would love to receive Communion again and miss doing so. I am not shopping for a priest to give me permission and do not feel that I am in a state of mortal sin because of this.

  • Do you have any comments or advice?


  { As a 74-year-old, can I receive Communion if I'm single but sexually intimate with my boyfriend? }

Bob replied:


If you want to go to receive Holy Communion:

  • go to Confession
  • live in chastity, and
  • stop having sex with your boyfriend.

The fact that you don't feel it is a mortal sin doesn't mean it isn't. Sex is sacred, a gift of God that expresses the fullness of the covenantal love He designed and when we remove it from that context, we do injury to the act.

That context gives the very meaning to the act, and that is why every form of sex outside of marriage is wrong or somehow disfigured.

The fact that you are both older and past the point of fertility doesn't change this reality.

Read what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6:9. Check the Bible on this: fornication is the term for two unmarried persons having sex (as often distinguished from adultery where one or more is married).

  • Do you want to go on deceiving yourself?
  • How will that profit you?

Deliberately avoiding the truth is tantamount to rejecting it. You should really do an inventory and see whose relationship is more important. In the long term, I think you would rather be with Jesus.


Bob Kirby

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