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Amy Rapiti wrote:

Hi, guys —

I am a Hindu marrying a Catholic. My fiance and I are attending Mass regularly, however, I am not converting and he has no issue with that. We have decided that we will be having a small engagement (8 people) where we will invite very close family members. Friends and the rest of the family will be invited to the wedding. My fiancé has invited all his friends, their spouses, and children to our engagement taking up more than 50% of his guest list.

As an Indian, irrespective of our religion, the engagement is time for the families to meet. It is a family affair and friends are generally not invited to the engagement. Bear in mind that I am not in any way close to his friends, they have not made me feel welcome whenever I met them, and my fiancé is well aware of how I feel about them.

So my question to you is:

  • What is the purpose of an engagement in the Catholic faith?
  • If there are any, what rituals should we complete?, and
  • Who should be included?

Thank you for your advice.



  { What is the purpose of an engagement, what rituals are important, and who should be included? }

Eric replied:


I'm not aware of any universal Catholic customs during an engagement, except for pre-Cana marriage preparation classes and whatever paperwork is relevant to the marriage.

Perhaps my colleagues will respond to things I might have missed.


Mike replied:

Hi, Amy —

Besides what Eric has said, I wanted to share some of what the United States Catholic Bishops have said on this topic. You may find one or two nuggets helpful.

Hope this helps,


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