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BeatenAndBaffled Barbara wrote:

Hi, guys —

Glory to Jesus Christ!

My name is Barbara and I'm 30 years old. I have been married seven years and we have four kids. My husband visits with me in church and prays with the kids at home. In general, he is a very good person but when we have problems with our finances and other issues, he starts to get very angry and fights with me a lot.

Around four years ago he hit me, two years ago he hit me again, and now couple days ago, he was so angry and hit me in front of our kids. My mom and sister came to protect me and he hit them too. He always says very bad things about my relatives, but during that same time, my relatives have helped me take care of my kids and helped him a lot in different situations.

Now, I don't know what to do.

My mom has to come back to the Ukraine. She came for the summer to help with the kids, because I was so exhausted. I am afraid to stay with my husband, because I can't trust him any more but at the same time, I forgave him already and don't want to do anything to offend God.

Help me to find a good destination. I want to save my marriage and have always dreamed of having a good Catholic family but I don't know how to survive in these conditions.

Thank you,


  { How do I survive this marriage seeing I have always dreamed of having a good Catholic family? }

Eric replied:


Glory forever! I am very sorry to hear of your situation. While it is good that you forgive your husband, forgiving does not mean having to put yourself in danger again or continuing to expose yourself to abuse.

It's not clear to me where you are, but if you are in the United States, you should be able to find a domestic violence shelter, or at least counseling. There is a hot line available at:

1-800-799-7233, or:

They are equipped to help you.

Some specifically Catholic resources are available here:

I would prefer to leave the counseling to the experienced professionals rather than offer you potentially dangerous advice.

We will be praying for you!

May the Holy Theotokos protect you.


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