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WantToChange Will wrote:

Hi, guys —

Thank you for taking my question.

At the deepest level, my intentions are not selfless in nature. Most specifically, my actions aren't emerging for God's good pleasure but firstly in service of my desires, even when my judgment is that God is correct.

  • How can I change my intention for God's good pleasure so my actions will conform to His Law?

I need to care about my own well-being on this issue otherwise my actions turn sinful and in heart, mortally sinful (i.e. Matthew 5:28 and the Sixth Commandment).

Please help me in whatever way you can, I've been dying like this for 25 years.

I may end up in Hell : (

Will

  { How can I change my intentions to be for God's good pleasure and so my life conforms to His Law? }

Bob replied:

Dear friend,

It seems as though you would benefit by a spiritual director, a priest, or a confessor that can help you with the specific issues you may be dealing with.

Ultimately, none of us can change without supernatural grace, so make sure you have gone to Confession and are in the state of Grace first and foremost.

I can personally attest to the fact that the Rosary has enabled me to overcome a myriad of negative behaviors, thoughts, and sins. You must pray at least 5 decades every day and make the commitment ASAP. If you ask Mother Mary to help, she will not let you down. Pray especially for love, divine love to fill your heart; it will also drive away the demonic attacks that seek to frustrate you.

God has no desire for you to go to Hell so just stay with the program and live your faith out even when it feels difficult.

Peace,

Bob Kirby

Will replied:

Thank you Bob!,

Indeed, I am aware that without supernatural grace I can't change. My problem resides within myself even when in the state of grace at the deepest level my intentions (which color my actions).

Thank you for the advice to pray to our Lady. Responding to the grace to go to her could never be in vain. Spiritual direction has proven to be unavailable, but it's true I am asking for some insight that would get me to try to care about my own well-being or to come to obtain a relational sense of sin. My request itself may be a chicken and egg scenario since information itself doesn't steer the will, but can only inform it. What information, more than the basic Gospel, should be enough to inspire a person to love the responsibility, etc.

After the sin I mentioned, spiritual sloth is another difficulty of mine I should mention. Jesus helps me, returns me to an ingratiated state and then when temptation comes, my intention is the way I explained in my original question.

I am not sure if it's sadness or just lack of caring or lack of hopefulness. If more information about me is needed to help me, please let me know but, in any event, thanks for your time.

Will

Bob replied:

Will —

Another thought I had is this great book:

You can find it on Amazon.

While the world is quick to call negative mental states depression and others rational explanations, very often we are under assault by demonic spirits who try to influence us. Their weapons against the mind are depression and obsession (discouragement, sloth, self-loathing, etc), and there are very specialized demons who can affect one type of thought versus another.

While it may sound medieval, it isn't. We are not talking about vexation or possession, but very ordinary tactics that happen to many with great frequency. These are dark times and the demons are working overtime to discourage and turn people away from God. I would look at this like spiritual warfare and put on my armor.

The other thing I do, when I am feeling afflicted, is turn that very moment into an offering in solidarity with someone who is suffering from some affliction and really needs the prayer help. I think of how each suffering can become an act of penance to be given for the sake of a soul in need. So your discouragement, sloth, and self-centered feelings can even become an offering.

Give yourself to God in those moments as a complete wreck in solidarity with someone who is more of a wreck, so that your desire to become something more than you are can be given to that other (in so doing you will also become better). God is deeply interested in your honesty, for He sees you as you are, but He wants you to see yourself as you are so He can show you where you must begin and where to go.

This is a journey and starting in the primordial mud is as good a place to start as any. Also, the Rosary is the rope thrown to you to pull you out of that mud pit; grab on.

Peace,

Bob K.

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